Oduetse Gabonnwe

Rookie (01 September 1981 / Taung (Pitsong))

The feeling of being abandoned


The same guy you grew up with, still don’t know a lot about him
The early days of my life was not easy
Tried to live the good life though it was difficult
When times are hard you are the only ones I could think of
But I felt empty because I grew up without you (never had a chance to be with you)
God is the only one I could rely on

I had my life without you, even though I wish you were there
But they say everything that happens is part of God’s plans
The chance of being with you was given and taken before I could grab it
I had to stay at different family members’ places
Because they couldn’t bear with my demands and wants as a teenager
I was chased to the streets, had to do it on my own
I don’t have anything against them for throwing me out, I understand
I squashed the beef I had with everyone back then

I had to strategize in every move I make
Never to get messed up in the situation
Because desperate times asks for desperate measures
I never fell for any traps because I learnt life

What happened to me, is happening to someone out there
Played fair but not everybody can do it
Some people around me where greedy and selfish
But couldn’t associate myself with them
Because I knew where I am from
I raised myself to the man I am today
Never allowed the next person to feel sorry for me
It’s a bad habit to rely on people

Nobody knows what I’ve been through
Nobody knows how I faked my life
To pretend to be someone I am not
Just to get appreciation for who I am
Not for what I am and what I’ve been through
Only a few people on my past knows the truth about me
How I made it through life’s struggles, nobody knows

To vent, I needed someone I could trust
But I can’t find that person
And figured pen and a paper are the only ones I could confide to
Because they are the only ones to trust and never get disappointed afterwards
Rest in peace to my Mom and Dad
And I hope they are watching over me!

Submitted: Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Edited: Wednesday, November 12, 2008

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