The Full Manatee Monty Poem by Joe Rosochacki

“It’s not unusual to see me cry, I wanna die”,
-because I’m laughing so hard.
The Florida Marlins are having auditions for Rubenesque Men to show what they have.
The Full Montiers will have to entertain crowds before the first pitch is thrown.
The group of robust men will be called The Manatees.
There is a simple reason;
“The team hopes to recruit seven to 10 tubby men to dance,
cheer, and jiggle during Friday and Saturday home games this season
Sumo wrestlers would not be good,
not so fun,
Tossing a handful of salt in your Nachos and into your hot dogs bun,
In order to purify them.
Can you imagine seeing Sumo wrestlers, stomping their feet left and right,
To ward off evil spirits, inducing mudslides in the west,
Knocking over and spilling your $8.00,22 oz. Bud Lite.
Be grateful they aren’t statesman such as William Howard Taft,
Nor Bill Jefferson Clinton,
Because there would a distraction to the action.
Maybe there is room for Jesse L. Jackson, Jr.?
The Manatees will require energy shown in a commercial in Super Bowl XLII.
They could rev up the Marlins crowd camp,
By drinking the energy drink called AMP,
That is a drink for the extreme Mountain Dew drinkers.
My goodness they shouldn’t be in thongy Speedos,
Conjures some bad mental images,
But the line is drawn,
For the pictorial swimsuit issue of them in Sports Illustrated.
Or when a sports bar is named He-ters.

(2-24-2008)