Beach Girl


The Golden Elixir - Poem by Beach Girl

The she creature rose

From depths of the darkness

And smoothly swam

To the brambled banks

There in the moonlight

The gold bottle beckoned

And glistening with water

She stepped from the lake



Her tawny hand, grasped

The round amber bottle

And bowing her head

Inhaled the mixture

Citrus and spices

Danced in the darkness

And tears from the trees

Escaped the elixir



The amber spoke

Of tales from the past

And balsam of twigs

Poured out her heart

The nymph from the lake

Danced in the darkness

This golden elixir

Would ne're from her part


Poet's Notes about The Poem

Actually this is just another poem about a fragrance I own.

Comments about The Golden Elixir by Beach Girl

  • Rookie - 309 Points Perry Biggerstaff (5/12/2015 6:17:00 PM)

    Ok...not sure how I missed this. Great imagery...great flow! ! ! (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Gold Star - 22,671 Points Kim Barney (2/10/2015 7:32:00 AM)

    Lovely poem.
    Are you not writing anymore? This is your newest poem, and it's from last August. Please come back and write some more! (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 12,159 Points Bri Edwards (12/17/2014 11:28:00 PM)

    nere [with no apostrophe]


    Definitions
    from the GNU version of the Collaborative International Dictionary of English

    Were not.

    from The Century Dictionary and Cyclopedia

    A Middle English form of near.
    An obsolete contracted form of never.
    n. A Middle English form of neer.
    n. A Middle English contraction of ne were, were not.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    Her tawny hand grasped

    The round amber bottle

    And bowing her head [............without a comma between bowing and her, OR changing some words, it almost sounds like the tawny hand was doing the inhaling.]

    Inhaled the mixture
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    do you find all of your fragrances on brambled banks (a nice alliteration) ?
    - - - - - - - -
    banks/lake; mixture/elixir; heart/part............... your rhyming got better as you went along. :)
    - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    i think i would rearrange the last stanza a bit, and i would always use punctuation, but i DO like the poem.
    thanks for sharing. bri :)

    add enough chocolate and i might go for it! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 171 Points Marcus Mckinley (10/23/2014 9:45:00 AM)

    a well painted word image. nicely done (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 8,619 Points Savita Tyagi (9/2/2014 9:21:00 AM)

    Lovely poem. enjoyed reading it. (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Thursday, August 7, 2014

Poem Edited: Monday, December 22, 2014


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