The Inside Of Thee Poem by Shalia Robinson

Every night and day I sleep!
Trying to avoid the deepest void down deep.
Worrying and stressing me til my vision is weak.
My sight is so blurry I can’t even see.
Deep into unwanted and unneeded relationships.
Only in them for a feeling and a touch.
That would change my feelings to a sensation.
But then after I get a revelation that they were not there
Only for a second then it will disappear in thin air.
I am not happy….
I feel like crying…
When people come to show me support.
I can’t help but stay to me so my vulnerability won’t get caught.
I am trying to stay strong.
But my very inside feels so wrong.
So abused and bruised….
That I feel the pain of the scar.
Looking for a right away cure.
Substances my eyes points to.
What’s here for me?
Why are they acting this way towards thee?
They want me to be silent
That’s why I feel so alone because I did as they wish
Now I feel so alone, lonely, rejected, dismissed.
Maybe I shouldn’t have stayed here
And just went my own path they wouldn’t have to worry about me.
I want to run away far away from my situation
Because I feel like it’s not going to be solved.
With me just working hard.
What do I do now?
I’m trying to focus on my future.
But these people are still involved
Making me feel like my life will slowly dissolve.