The King Of Hollywood Poem by Charles Chaim Wax

On Thursday I dragged myself
to Clark Gable’s class—
All Time Great Films—
at Kingsborough Community College
After attendance
I thought of walking out
his class nothing but chatter about
Hollywood’s stupidty
and his perpetual
undeserved
non recognition
but when he said
with particular anguish
“They’re gonna screw me over”
I decided to stay. He continued, “I just got the word
they wanna go with my idea,
gung-ho all the way
but they’ll probably bring in
some putz to write the screenplay.”
Someone asked,
“Why would they do that
since it’s your idea? ”
“You’re dealing with
the biggest bunch of morons
in creation.
Hollywood makes crap
three hundred films a year
99.9% garbage
sometimes they get lucky
and the lousy sequels
shoot out like diarrhea. If any
producer had half a brain I’d be
the King of Hollywood but
I don’t kiss ass.”
Suddenly Mabel Pearse called out,
“Do we have any papers
in this class? ”
He seemed annoyed
mumbling, “Whatta ya askin’ me for? ”
Everyone stared at him.
“Yeah, yeah I’ll play the game
just keep it short
the shorter the better,
and make sure
it’s double spaced
big margins too
I like a lotta
white space on the paper.”
“Do you have a particular
font you prefer? ” asked Mabel.
Clark Gable laughed,
“After I ate some
bad fish sticks I gave
the next paper a C. That’s life.”
“Aren’t there any standards? ” Mabel asked.
“WHATEVER SELLS, ” shrieked Clark Gable
then added, “Forget it. Class dismissed.”