Varanasi Ramabrahmam (27-11-1953 / Vegeswarapuram, India)
The musings of an ordinary human being (Opinion)
“aahaara bhaya nidraa maithunani jeeva lakshanaani” – food, fear, sleep and urge to have sex are the natural traits of the animals. These are basic needs and instincts which guide the lives and behavior of all animals including humans. There is a season for the animals for copulation. But humans are ready for that every minute of the 24 hours throughout the year if are healthy, have libido and opportunities. All their moods, feelings, thoughts, talks, actions and reactions are guided by these. Morals, legitimacies etc., are products of civilization to which many individuals are not favorably inclined.
I am an ordinary human being with associated merits and demerits. Thus I lead my life guided by my intuition, by my instincts, urges and desires and very rarely guided by ideals. I live more realistically giving room to all my insufficiencies and inadequacies in tune with my abilities and capabilities. I am not unnecessarily worried by criticism of my living by others. I am sure what I am doing and do it with all associated frailties.
I am scared of and am inconvenient with preachers. We have many preachers available in the society, among them the spiritual and social behavior guiding preachers. I am of the opinion that any one indulging in preaching suffers from two psychological deficiencies. First, he / she feels he/she a cut above “ordinary” human beings. Two, thinks all others are “sinners” or “inferior” or “cannot think or act independently” and tries to correct them by uninvited counseling.
Preaching is the easiest thing in the world to do and most difficult one is practicing what is preached. We are aware of many current commercial spiritual workers available in large numbers preach us day in and day out what we should be, what we should do, what we should not, and bore us with all the textual knowledge they mugged up like parrots. They feel they have done some meditation or practiced some way and attained miracle showing powers or “spiritual” powers and under that illusion impose themselves on us and give lectures. But most of them never care to practice what they preach us. And very disgustingly practice what all they shunned to us through their lectures and writings.
Another tribe which also feels to correct others by counseling is the tribe of social workers or NGOs and the like. And the religiously-guided organizations and individuals any way are making our lives horrible. I feel that many individuals better not join these tribes to preach us. Writers and poets with reformist zeal also bother us with their instructions and well-intentioned observations.
It is an open secret that most of us preach virtues and practice vices. Let us allow the individuals to decide what they should do. Any number of writings, lectures or preachings cannot eliminate smoking, drinking, gambling, drug-abusing habits, debauchery and the like vices. All these have been thriving since the start of the civilizations and continue to do so. To these might have been added the modern living habits of interacting through internet. The individuals who are indulged in all these are fully aware of the consequences of these and are ready to face them. Yudhistara and Nala of the epic times though most virtuous indulged in gambling and suffered the consequences. Similarly Ravana, himself a great scholar and a learned man kidnapped other’s wife and faced the consequences. There are many such instances in many of our and other civilizational epics.
The private intimate moments of a man and woman are their own. The nearness and dearness can be in tune with morality, can be legitimate or not. They decided to have fun in privacy and we do not have any right to poke our nose into their affairs and we must note that they are ready to face the consequences. They are like the adults seeing “adults only” certified movie.
It is said that any instruction should be like the beloved telling with love, tenderness and understanding. One should not instruct like a king or a teacher or of course a preacher. They fall to deaf ears. Dear way of saying things will have reception and may also be followed. Assuming the pose of preacher, moral instructor in most cases will not yield any desired results.
As an ordinary human being it is my prerogative to live as I like. Others can mind their business and live as they like. Cultures and civilizations will have to stop somewhere to give room to the individuals their privacy. The sweetness and bliss of romance of a man and woman should never be disturbed.
Sexual attraction between male and female species is biological; the natures and bodies of them are designed for reproductive purpose only. Everything else will revolve round this reality. Change in our life styles and culture by mingling freely for different purposes, will not vanish our natures and fan our longings. It is naive and unreal to expect us to be seers and saints under opportune intimate private moments. Let us be realistic and not assume things.
Ideals are like pole star. We are only guided by them. We do not reach them anytime.
We must be allowed to live realistically guided by our nature, mental makeup and will and pleasure.
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