The N E V E R Stamp: It's 'guaranteed'! ! …… [mail Delivery; Inspired By Kelly Kurt; Humor/Humour; Medium Length] Poem by Bri Edwards

The N E V E R Stamp: It's 'guaranteed'! ! …… [mail Delivery; Inspired By Kelly Kurt; Humor/Humour; Medium Length]

Rating: 3.0


I was a loyal postal clerk, now 'happily' retired,
and my duty to the Postal Service is now expired.
But the USPS is not soooo bad as some have said.
They may be 'slug'gish, but they aren't (YET) dead!
Now I've heard disguised-grousing from K. Kurt,
and, as an ex-postal worker, let me say 'I'm HURT! '
So, if ANY of you readers think you could do better,
grab a bag of mail, and deliver this newsy letter:

'Dear disgruntled customers of the Postal Service,
Don't think that threats of a class action suit will unnerve us!
If you ever DO win some case against us, and we doubt you will,
here is what we'd offer you to 'In Full' pay our judgment bill:

Each participant of any such ridiculous class action lawsuit,
will receive from the USPS five postcards and five stamps to boot!
Each stamp will be clearly marked that they are stamps-'NEVER'.
[yeah, some of our legal staff in D.C. sure is very clever! ]

You may use each card, and on each card you may place a NEVER stamp.
Drop it in a collection box or slot, and then away home you can tramp.
We'll do the rest for you and your free stamps. And we'll be 'even'.

We'll NEVER deliver your five cards! ! NOW, let's have no more legal grievin'! ! '

Sincerely,

Bri Edwards
Postmaster General, Washington D.C.

(December 18, 2015)

Friday, December 18, 2015
Topic(s) of this poem: humor,humorous
POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
too exhausted from typing to write more here! bri :)
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Spock The Vegan 18 December 2015

In the city where I live some love letters and other mail was discovered after 19 years in a bank type drop box of a closed down store (this week) .

2 0 Reply
Lyn Paul 18 December 2015

The lawsuit doesn't look like a fair fight but I do not think I would argue with you. Humour for sure! Thank You Bri Hope the eye ball is recovering well.

2 0 Reply
Kelly Kurt 18 December 2015

I still say that there is nothing quite like getting a hand written letter in the mailbox.: -)

1 0 Reply
Valsa George 22 December 2015

It is always great to feel proud to acknowledge the profession one has been in and to have continued loyalty to the Dept. one has associated with. Enjoyed this poem in your characteristic humorous vein!

0 0 Reply
Wes Vogler 20 December 2015

Brian Mayo... Kim Barney ... Kelly Kurt ... Bri Edwards , , I have a question for the four of you... WHICH ONE OF YOU IS D'ARTAGNAN! !

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Brian Mayo 19 December 2015

And who'd be pictured on the never stamp, I wonder? George W. Bush gets my vote..

1 0 Reply
Mike Smith 02 May 2016

Think it's gotta be Trump, but I'll let it slide because in December 15 when you made the comment everybody just thought he was a tiny fingered, racist, pathetic human being.... Now they think he's a tiny fingered, racist, pathetic monster with a nomination #nevertrump

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Kim Barney 18 December 2015

Very funny, Mr. Postmaster general.

0 0 Reply
Manonton Dalan 18 December 2015

postman is tough job..... you been watch all the time

0 0 Reply
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Bri Edwards

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