Learn More

Donal Mahoney

The Odyssey Of Pastor Harold Schnabel

Listen up! It's Deacon Simon here,
Reporting on Pastor Harold Schnabel,
The minister we long ago defrocked.
Remember how he went to Holland
Years ago. Hard to believe but
He's coming back a millionaire
Who made his money
Running a bordello for midgets
With Peyronie's Disease
In downtown Amsterdam.

He hired his staff carefully,
Favoring double-jointed women who
Understand the geometry of angles,
Isosceles and otherwise.
He's coming back to take advantage
Of an American Renaissance
In porkpie hats. He says men
Will wear them once again
This summer and possibly forever.
It will be the same porkpie hat

Made famous by Buster Keaton,
The beloved comedian,
Who for years was chief custodian
In Harold's congregation, long before
We deacons finally defrocked him
For simony, calumny,
Feterosexuality and serial fraud.
Anyone who thinks Harold's wrong
About an American Renaissance
In porkpie hats needs to remember

The startling success he's had
Running that bordello for midgets
With Peyronie's Disease.
The staff of ladies he recruited.
Made Harold a millionaire.
We defrocked him for cause but
He's an entrepreneur extraordinaire.
He knows midgets and porkpie hats.
So, please, join me at the airport
Sunday morning after services

So we can make Harold's return
To our beautiful city a boffo event.
He's giving out free porkpie hats
To everyone who comes to greet him.
And big discounts to all midgets
With Peyronie's Disease planning
A trip to Amsterdam this Spring
To admire- what else? - the tulips.
There will never be another Harold.
Let's welcome Pastor Schnabel home.

Submitted: Thursday, May 02, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Do you like this poem?
0 person liked.
0 person did not like.

Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags

What do you think this poem is about?

Comments about this poem (The Odyssey Of Pastor Harold Schnabel by Donal Mahoney )

Enter the verification code :

There is no comment submitted by members..

Trending Poets

Trending Poems

  1. Invictus, William Ernest Henley
  2. Still I Rise, Maya Angelou
  3. The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost
  4. A Dream Within A Dream, Edgar Allan Poe
  5. I Am the Only Being Whose Doom, Emily Jane Brontë
  6. If You Forget Me, Pablo Neruda
  7. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, Robert Frost
  8. Bluebird, Charles Bukowski
  9. Mother to Son, Langston Hughes
  10. No Man Is An Island, John Donne

Poem of the Day

poet Emily Jane Brontë

I am the only being whose doom
No tongue would ask no eye would mourn
I never caused a thought of gloom
A smile of joy since I was born

In secret pleasure - secret tears
...... Read complete »


New Poems

  1. Pleasantries (Ghazal), Akhtar Jawad
  2. In love power, hasmukh amathalal
  3. Arrivals, Maylee Bossy
  4. Companionship, Leong Ming Loong
  5. Remain helpless, hasmukh amathalal
  6. A MINER'S DESTINY, Randy McClave
  8. Full recitation, hasmukh amathalal
  9. Dread, Leong Ming Loong
  10. Stars, 1000 Miles
[Hata Bildir]