The Pirate Poem by Robert Edgar Burns

The Pirate president signed into law,
"Shiver me timbers" is not politically correct.
But now "Me timbers shiver, "
Is the new and approved dialect.

He does not wear the one eye patch,
And won't wear an old black beard.
For he likes to go around unnoticed,
While he steals from us all that's dear.

He will not recognize or pray with Christians
During the National Day Of Prayer.
But will bow down on a rug toward Mecca,
With fifty thousand Muslims in town square.

His shipmates the national news media,
Won't carry his message of shame.
He sends his lies to them to print,
Or he won't let them stay in his game.

His pastor is such a scallawag,
Who thinks he's a beacon of light.
He tells his young men who go off to war,
Don't shoot till you all see the whites.

But he's doing this job all by his own self.
Sometimes he takes out his sword.
He cuts the heads off of any judges
Who question his every word.