The Present Poem by Joshua Hillard

This heart beats in a whole new way,
I can see the beat within my body,
A fade to black, curtain-closed rhythm,
And attracting pain is its own new hobby,

How can I express what I feel now?
Years have passed in this consistency,
Traveling speeds beyond terminal velocity,
I miss the feeling of true ecstasy,

This wall is the opposite of what I hope,
The viscosity of my blood grows too thick,
I want it weak to save this soul,
But I always fail every outcome I pick,

Nothing saves internal damnation,
It’s a war fought between mind and heart,
Heart always holds title for optimism,
And the mind tears reality apart,

Faded dreams I've had too long,
I must wipe away the blistering frost,
It’s been years since I've felt warmth,
Take this cold and let it cross,

Introduce yourself and build a home,
Together, it creates a perfect climate,
But as I freeze and drift away,
My present will never begin to consummate.