The Reason Poem by Melissa Muchemwa

The reason I have never been single for a long time
Is because I never thought I would feel the same, complete.
I thought of the cold nights that I might have to face alone
I thought of Valentine’s Day, how I would have no one to surprise
The fear of not having someone to call me daily made me sweat
‘Goodnight babe’ and ‘I love you’ are just the words I wanted to hear

I didn’t mind not having enough money
But I minded not having a boyfriend
I didn’t mind not getting the job
But I minded not having a boyfriend
I didn’t mind facing discrimination
But I minded not having a boyfriend

But something happened that made me face my biggest fear,
To be a single woman
To be honest I tried my best to avoid this tragedy
I begged, I pleaded, I apologized
Here I was,18 years old, facing my fifth heart-break
Surely not all of the guys were wrong?
Maybe it was me- Self-righteous? Impatient? Intolerant?
I was left confused,
If I was trying to please my Father,
Avoiding pre-marital sex, not making my boyfriend my idol,
What made the relationship fail?

But you know the scripture says:
‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways’.
Maybe that’s what it was
But again to be truthful I still don’t why I am single

It took me a while to accept my marital status
What would people think?
We look and acted like the perfect couple
At first I tried to hide it but now it’s in the open.
I am single.
I write it on my applications,
I tell it to my friends,
It’s displayed on my facebook,
It’s written in this poem.

I am single.