The Rimer And The Venus Poem by Mohammad Muzzammil
The Rimer And The Venus
This poem is a conversation between Rimer (poet) and Venus(goddess of love) . I wrote it when when my two friends eloped to wed.
The Rimer
O Venus! I wish to thee something ask,
But condition is put of making no mask,
Can your eyes deny the present sight?
Or, have you realized yourself a wight?
But, my grievances make inside me unrest,
Like a bird sitting its broken nest,
Why for a girl a boy turns blind?
Not long, but in short time I find,
Leaving parents, they elope and wed,
They get anger but tears in alone they shed,
To whom you defend and why? In this case,
What love is great and what is base?
I ask further while thee I've never seen,
Is love fair in the current age?
And tell me too, what to do and what to ween?
While people see not heart but mere visage,
And just is mostly in their eyes,
What should I do? Oft my heart cries.
The Venus
Ask me rimer! I'll reply thee,
No mark I'll put, you should be gay,
I believe on on surface but the depth of the sea,
So I've never experienced to be wight in anyway,
But, thy grievances have affected my heart,
And I hear a voice of a broken heart.
That he turns blind mere seeing glamour,
For defending themselve, they have no armour,
Trampling parents' love those who elope to wed,
And compel both of them tears in alone to shed,
The unfathomed love mother I can't deny,
And those who deny, I curse them to cry.
Nothing I'm but an unseen God's creature,
And preach to all to love what is in nature,
Love is the greatest thing in the world, I wish,
And the meanest one in nature if it is selfish,
Love to whom who really lover thee by soul,
Not a hindrance, but helps thee in achieving thy goal.
Very beautiful poem. I congratulate you for picking up such an important subject. I am cent percent agree with you on this issue. Very honest and poignant write indeed. Kudos to your effort.
I like conversation poems like this one. It even sort of rhymes :)
I like structure of this poem, question and answer, specially a part of Venus, thanks for sharing your thoughts
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/19/2024 3:24:18 AM # 1.0.0.1119
I like this one a lot. I fail to see the consequence of elopement, but that is probably a cultural divide. I see the Rimer is asking what is true love how can you tell. What a great question. How can you? Is this a grievous thing then to marry without parents or family? If it is love true, then how can it be so. I love Venus's reply. Love is the most wonderful thing in the world if love it is, or the worst if it is selfish, how profound that verse. Very lovely. Venus does not deny an elopement, just the selfishness of keeping love to themselves. Venus wishes all love true, not caring how it came to be, but feeling the cheating of the couple to the parents. I like this one a lot. Once I quit reading the prologues I can get to the poem. Again, I believe poetry is what I get from it, perhaps not even what you meant, but the beauty I see in the words you express. Excellent on this one, into my favorites it goes and BRAVA on a well written, rich context poem that is insightful, thoughtful and beautiful.