The Saga Of The Slippery Spider Poem by Terri Turrell

I sat upon my office chair
And stared off in to space
When lo behold what should unfold
A spider in my face
He swung right there yes in mid air
This dude with eight, um, toe
t hen suma beech I gave a screech
He landed on my nose
My eyes were crossed my cool was lost
I scrambled to my feet
I grabbed a book from off the nook
My face I then did beat
Oh wiley he and with much glee
He dropped then to my.....um....breast
I gave a yell, like what the hell
And beat my chest with zest
Then this lil' eight legged dude
Insisted I must look like food
He webbed around and bit my a**
(I know YAHOO I'm being crass)
And when I spanked my deir-eee-air
I found the dude no longer there
Now frantic to know where he went
I turned around and double bent
To peer between my legs now spread
In hopes I'd find that spider dead
I pause now here to catch my breath
Besides I'm nearly beat to death
I leave it up to you my friends
Do tell me how this story ends

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