Beach Girl

The Sea Girl - Poem by Beach Girl

When I was just a little girl
They brought me to the sea
I waded out as waves unfurled
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Topic(s) of this poem: sea, seaside

Comments about The Sea Girl by Beach Girl

  • Freshman - 576 Points Beach Girl (11/24/2015 6:38:00 AM)

    Bri and KB, thank you both. Some time back I corrected my error of misusing the word laid. Bri, I think your first comment was concerning the word 'flout', which I'm still trying to correct. (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Gold Star - 17,170 Points Bri Edwards (11/23/2015 10:56:00 PM)

    well, i heard from Kim Barney. he says he corrected laid to lay! ok. let me see what my first comment said. let's see if i missed it then! i guess i must have?

    thanks Kim. good work, B.Girl, assuming you took his comment to heart! bri :) (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 17,170 Points Bri Edwards (11/23/2015 7:49:00 PM)

    SORRY, readers. i could not get the verb tense table to stay lined up as it is if one clicks on the article from Google.

    bri :) (see my first comment) (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 17,170 Points Bri Edwards (11/23/2015 7:46:00 PM)

    well, although i like Kim B. (see his comment below) as a poet and person, AND he says he used to be an English teacher, i DISAGREE with him about your use of lay in stanza #7, where you have written:

    She ran down to the water
    And lay upon the sand:

    [not all teachers are perfect! does ANYONE disagree with lay now? ? feel free to enter the fray! ]

    AND a Google selection***** seems to back up me and Beach Girl (or Beach Girl and me) . [and i think me is correct here, not I) .

    Choosing the Correct Form*****

    Once you know which meaning you need, you must then choose the correct verb form. Look at the table below:

    Infinitive Definition Simple Present Simple Past Past Participle Present Participle
    to lay to put something down lay(s) laid laid laying
    to lie to rest or recline lie(s) lay lain lying

    Important note: The simple present form of lay is the same word as the simple past form of lie. This shared form accounts for much of the confusion with these two verbs.
    and i see that Adeline F. calls my comments: meanderings. so, maybe they are, but nice ones, don't you think? ? !

    Debbie, this poem is as great as the first time i read it. great! ! and even if it is (which i don't know is true or not) in one of my/our past showcases on my PH site, i welcome it with open arms and mind in November's a showcase for PH poets, Section B, which is for late-arrivals/second poems of medium-length,

    bri :) thanks


    *****Grammar Bytes! : : Using the Irregular Verbs Lay and Lie
    The irregular verbs lay and lie have confusing forms. Here is everything that you need to use these verbs correctly.
    [Search domain] (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,296 Points Sudipta Bhattacharyya (11/18/2015 4:33:00 AM)

    The tremendous love a girl has for the sea is nicely depicted in your wonderful poem. Thanks for sharing such a lovely poem. Sudipta Bhattacharyya Romantic poet. (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 3,389 Points Adeline Foster (9/2/2015 12:41:00 PM)

    A very good poem (never mind Bri’s meanderings) The tenses did flip. But as Bri said it was a minor error.
    Read mine – Who Am I –
    Adeline (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 5,590 Points Darlene Walsh (4/2/2015 5:45:00 PM)

    I like this poem a lot, it's a lovely story about the sea and the love the girl has for the sea. It was fun to read, it flows nice and I like the rhyming. Although I'm not sure what the last stanza means, it still sounds dreamy.

    Darla :) (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 28,812 Points Kim Barney (3/23/2015 1:57:00 PM)

    I really like this poem, although I have to agree with Bri Edwards about the use of the word FLOUT. It doesn't really make sense as used here.
    Also, in the second line of verse seven, you should use LAY instead of LAID. Sorry, I can't help it. I used to be an English teacher.
    Great work, however! Keep writing. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 17,170 Points Bri Edwards (1/24/2015 3:01:00 PM)

    some of my favorites:

    Each a gem of ocean wonders
    Formed on soft sea floors

    .....wild waves crashing'

    The blue, the blue, oh it does scheme
    To drive one quite insane

    Caused rain and tears to blend

    Seaweed and shells her form did flout
    Gems from the sea, her finds

    i HAD to look up flout to decide if i liked it. i'd like its synonym disregard in the poem even more, even though it doesn't rhyme with about.
    - - - - - - - -
    verb: flout; 3rd person present: flouts; past tense: flouted; past participle: flouted; gerund or present participle: flouting

    openly disregard (a rule, law or convention) .
    these same companies still flout basic ethical practices
    synonyms: defy, refuse to obey, disobey, break, violate, fail to comply with, fail to observe, contravene, infringe, breach, commit a breach of, transgress against;
    ignore, disregard
    countless retailers flout the law by selling cigarettes to children
    antonyms: observe
    mock; scoff.
    the women pointed and flouted at her

    BUT THAT'S THE ONLY THING WHICH KEPT ME FROM THOROUGHLY ENJOYING THE POEM, and i had decided to send it to MyPoemList even before i finished reading.

    i did notice a switch from first person narration to third person narration, but i could live with that, and i might even like it. yes, i like it!
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    this is a great poem! the rhymes i will call imperfect, but i liked them very much. there was some way words rhymed while not exactly rhyming. very nice. if you had tried to rhyme with what i would call exact rhyming, the poem would probably NOT be SO GOOD! bri :) (Report) Reply

    Gold Star - 28,812 Points Kim Barney (11/23/2015 9:05:00 PM)

    originally she had LAID in verse seven. I suggested that she should change it to LAY, which she did.
    So the way it is now is perfect, not wrong at all.

  • Gold Star - 68,780 Points Fabrizio Frosini (1/24/2015 1:04:00 PM)

    a very nice finale.. Thanks for sharing, ''Beach Girl'' (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 13,520 Points Col Muhamad Khalid Khan (12/3/2014 12:20:00 AM)

    When she awoke and gazed about
    She found herself entwined
    Seaweed and shells her form did flout
    Gems from the sea, her finds
    A very good poem.I enjoyed it.
    Col Muhammad Khalid Khan (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 2 Points Luna Tsuki (11/9/2013 4:21:00 AM)

    A very touching poem, well done. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 81 Points Alexander Coppedge (11/5/2013 11:36:00 AM)

    Delightful. A really good flow, most of the time. It did sway. Yet you recaptured and finished this art wonderfully. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 5,183 Points Hans Vr (10/31/2013 8:17:00 PM)

    enjoyed reading this poem very much.
    Ecellent (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 576 Points Beach Girl (10/29/2013 9:57:00 AM)

    Thanks you Savita! I read some of your poems too, they are just lovely! (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 12,033 Points Savita Tyagi (10/29/2013 8:47:00 AM)

    I am trying to read the poems that I missed reading during contest time. This one is really beautiful. congratulations for fourth place. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 12,202 Points Khairul Ahsan (10/27/2013 10:16:00 PM)

    Sorry to see this poem miss the honors by the narrowest margin!
    Congratulations on winning the 4th position, that's no mean achievement either! (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 15,816 Points Ramesh T A (10/21/2013 4:47:00 AM)

    Nicely composed poem just as your name reflects in this poem! (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 19,816 Points Ramesh Rai (10/18/2013 6:06:00 AM)

    lovely write. loved reading again and again (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 19,816 Points Ramesh Rai (10/18/2013 6:06:00 AM)

    lovely write. loved reading again and again (Report) Reply

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