Beach Girl


The Sea Girl


When I was just a little girl
They brought me to the sea
I waded out as waves unfurled
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  • Veteran Poet - 4,695 Points Bri Edwards (1/24/2015 3:01:00 PM)

    some of my favorites:

    Each a gem of ocean wonders
    Formed on soft sea floors

    .....wild waves crashing'

    The blue, the blue, oh it does scheme
    To drive one quite insane

    Caused rain and tears to blend

    Seaweed and shells her form did flout
    Gems from the sea, her finds



    =============================
    i HAD to look up flout to decide if i liked it. i'd like its synonym disregard in the poem even more, even though it doesn't rhyme with about.
    - - - - - - - -
    flout
    flout/
    verb
    verb: flout; 3rd person present: flouts; past tense: flouted; past participle: flouted; gerund or present participle: flouting

    openly disregard (a rule, law or convention) .
    these same companies still flout basic ethical practices
    synonyms: defy, refuse to obey, disobey, break, violate, fail to comply with, fail to observe, contravene, infringe, breach, commit a breach of, transgress against;
    ignore, disregard
    countless retailers flout the law by selling cigarettes to children
    antonyms: observe
    archaic
    mock; scoff.
    the women pointed and flouted at her

    BUT THAT'S THE ONLY THING WHICH KEPT ME FROM THOROUGHLY ENJOYING THE POEM, and i had decided to send it to MyPoemList even before i finished reading.

    i did notice a switch from first person narration to third person narration, but i could live with that, and i might even like it. yes, i like it!
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    this is a great poem! the rhymes i will call imperfect, but i liked them very much. there was some way words rhymed while not exactly rhyming. very nice. if you had tried to rhyme with what i would call exact rhyming, the poem would probably NOT be SO GOOD! bri :) (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,337 Points Col Muhamad Khalid Khan (12/3/2014 12:20:00 AM)

    When she awoke and gazed about
    She found herself entwined
    Seaweed and shells her form did flout
    Gems from the sea, her finds
    A very good poem.I enjoyed it.
    Col Muhammad Khalid Khan (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Alexander Coppedge (11/5/2013 11:36:00 AM)

    Delightful. A really good flow, most of the time. It did sway. Yet you recaptured and finished this art wonderfully. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 4,313 Points Savita Tyagi (10/29/2013 8:47:00 AM)

    I am trying to read the poems that I missed reading during contest time. This one is really beautiful. congratulations for fourth place. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,041 Points Khairul Ahsan (10/27/2013 10:16:00 PM)

    Sorry to see this poem miss the honors by the narrowest margin!
    Congratulations on winning the 4th position, that's no mean achievement either! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Dr Tapan Kumar Pradhan (10/18/2013 1:23:00 AM)

    Dear Beach Girl, I loved your poem. Veery good imagination, vivid description and flow of words.You have a real talent here, which can be honed still further. Wish you all the best for the contest. But you cannot predict anything in an Online Contest like this - which can be easily manipulated by cyber savvy poets! ! (See my poem Poem Hunter Contest Final just to have an idea of how a contest can be manipulated...) (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 2,525 Points Patricia Grantham (9/19/2013 9:03:00 AM)

    A wonderful poem this is. You are very gifted in your expressions.
    The sea and all its wonders to experience and explore. An excellent
    blend of words and scenery this is. Keep on penning Beach Girl! (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,041 Points Khairul Ahsan (9/4/2013 1:23:00 AM)

    The beach girl has beautifully drawn the portrait of a sea girl! So nice to read, well written, dear poet! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 46 Points Jodie Hardy (8/27/2013 5:38:00 AM)

    Wow what a powerful poem about the sea, It reminds me of my love for the ocean, we have a seaside holiday once a year, I do miss it the rest of the year, I'm going to have to re read this beautiful poem again. xx (Report) Reply

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