The Sheep-Killing Dog Poem by Robert Kirkland Kernighan

So yıv been killin sheep?

Ye useless whelp ;
I 'm goin t put ye t sleep

Ye need n't yelp !

Ye good fer nothin brute !

I otter whang ye ;
Yur sentence I 'll commute

An straightway hang ye.

I 'll put a rope collar on ye,
T lift ye from yearth ;

I 'm taxed a dollar on ye
Mor 'n yur worth.


I gev ye a hull liver

When I killed thur hog ;

Not nuff? howsiver,
Yur a dead dog !

Ye low-down glutton !

Didn't I warn ye?
Yiv a taste fer mutton

Yelp ! gol darn ye !

Why I took such pains

To bring ye up ;
But ye never hed no brains

Since you 's a pup.


Ye killed two sheep, and flurried

A little lamb ;
Mor 'n that, ye worried

An aged ram !

I like a rale good dog

I do, extensive ;
But a dog whut 's a hog

Is too expensive.

Go way children,

En don raise no row,
Snap ! that rope 's bewildren

Yur a dead dog now !