The Sock Poem by JJ Evendon

It was early one morning
when I heard something horrible close by snoring.
There, on the floor by my bed I could see
a long dark strange shape, mouth open staring at me.
I had to hold my nose the smell was so foul,
and as I wondered what it was, it gave a growl.
Quickly I grabbed a pillow and threw it hard,
only to miss it by more than a yard.
This thing was fast, that’s for sure,
like lightning it moved to hide behind the door.
To my surprise, I soon discovered,
that this thing was an animal, like no other.
I was indeed, put in a state of shock,
when I identified this terrifying animal as my sock.
A sock that I had worn for many weeks
and had lost, but not washed, and so it badly reeked.
How I was going to catch this rodent sock, I had no idea,
so sat in bed thinking, until it disappeared.
When there was no sign of the sock to be seen
I decided quickly to prepare the washing machine.
Set to ‘intensive’ and with lots of soap,
I waited patiently and in hope.
For sooner or later the sock must appear
drawn by curiosity and the smell of cheese and cheap beer.
Sure enough I hadn’t needed to wait long
for the trap was set using a cheese and beer smelling thong.
It rushed around the corner and into the machine
and I quickly slammed the door and set it on clean.
After two hours of being tumbled, washed and dried
I took the poor fellow out who was more dead than alive.
Now weeks later I’m pleased to show
everything is back to normal, as I wear my thong outside my pants wherever I go.