adheez van der beanthz

Rookie - 34 Points (27 May 1980)

The Story of Sweat


this is a story about sweat..

that conceived by mom's prayer
- who make love with misery
born because of dad's love
- who was married to poverty
and being a kid who grow up
- in the hunger's loving caress

its spirits will fly to the sky
fuse with the clouds, also the stars
then melt into rain formations
to gain its own reputation

so its ancestry will meet the sunlight
refract the paradise
where the beauty become a bride
and happiness stay for the rest of the life

someday...


earthzcity,2008 13

Submitted: Monday, August 19, 2013
Edited: Thursday, December 19, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

This theme comes when I saw a construction worker who bathed in sweat, then I imagine his family and try to get into his mind and hope, of course in my own imagination

Comments about this poem (The Story of Sweat by adheez van der beanthz )

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  • Freshman - 1,588 Points Sallam Yassin (12/27/2013 1:35:00 PM)

    the must important thing is that you r connected with the life
    - as we baked in our community and life
    there is the beat of your own keep up (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,995 Points Bri Edwards (12/25/2013 5:42:00 PM)

    ok, i just read your ph bio. so you write in one language and translate to english. i'm glad i don't have to try that. i would try to help you with english but it is more than i have time for now. besides, it would not be easy if i don't understand the meaning of the poem readily. :) (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,995 Points Bri Edwards (12/25/2013 5:38:00 PM)

    SORRY! i read the first few comments and the poem of course, but i don't understand. it is not my cup of tea. but, thanks for sharing. :) (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 2,309 Points Patricia Grantham (12/23/2013 6:46:00 AM)

    An excellent poem and very well written. One can only imagine the drops
    of water just glistening like pearls on a workers face. Through all of this
    their sweat bears beautiful fruits of love that feeds a family, community
    and ultimately the hands strength to go even further. Very good. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 48 Points Matt Mooney (12/19/2013 10:33:00 AM)

    I like your idea of the way a simple act of love in poverty can rise to the skies to become divine and the emergence of the bride in white confirms the transformation.Good poem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 78 Points Elena Plotkin (12/9/2013 4:33:00 PM)

    I love your style. This poem has so much to offer the reader. What wonderful tribute to the hard worker! 10++ (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,012 Points Hazel Durham (12/9/2013 10:11:00 AM)

    Behind the sweat there is so many stories, with the will to survive, greatness can happen to everyone.
    Beautiful write! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 724 Points Antonio Liao (9/26/2013 12:22:00 AM)

    an oracle of state of the mind, resemble into reality of lines within your poem...such poetic venture quest the
    realm of challenges and truth of human journey of Life....Excellent master piece....a 10/10 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 155 Points Ellias Aghili (9/22/2013 4:36:00 AM)

    God bless you...your heart is so pure dear adheez, i really love this work because of it's pure honesty and the truth that this sweats will be really sweet for their family who are looking forward the financials and the supporting..
    well done (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 96 Points Maria C. Costa (8/31/2013 10:36:00 AM)

    A nice poetic thread recognizing the value of people's efforts in life. Poets truly know what it really means!
    Keep up your writing. (Report) Reply

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