The Tin Opener! Poem by John Knight

The Tin Opener!

Rating: 4.7


This poem was part of an exercise on a poetry course. We all had to write a poem about something in the Kitchen. There are very few poems about the humble 'Ouvre-boite' so it should make the top five hundred. You've all got one so please post a comment and vote!

What is a Tin Opener?
A device for opening tins!
Equisite - Effective - Essential
Which came first - the Tin opener or or the Tin?
You can't possibly have one without the other - can you?

Perhaps they evolved - symbiotically
Tinned Food Manufacturers simultaneously
Manufacturing- Tin Openers!
Alas History - which so often dissilousions us
Shows conclusively that tinned food was invented in 1813.

The ubiquitous Tin Opener - to its shame
Was not invented until forty years later!
No wonder so many people starved to death
In the dreaded 19th Century!
It is a tragedy I have only experienced ONCE!

Camping in the 1950's - miles from civilization
Alternatives sprang to hand - Knives - Axes - Boulders
Cut fingers - briusied toes- the tins contents?
Still stubbornly in-situ - all our food like us canned!
I sympathised with all hunger strikers!

IImagine opening a Tin of SPAM without the key?
J C Harvel - of Illinois invented SPAM in 1937 - with the key!
Alas keys on tins of SPAM and Sardines are not infallible
Have you ever tried opening a tin of SPAM - when the key breaks?
SPAM sans clef - has zero nutritional value!

In case we ever get caught with our tin openers down
We now have the 'Pull Ring Can' - lethal as a chain saw!
So we have to buy 'Ring Pull Puller' - $5 from Wall-Mart
An electric can opener - $25 also from Wall-Mart
Why must progress always be so so electrical?

Toothbrushes - Tin Openers - Carving Knives - even Vibrators!
No wonder power cuts are boosting the birth rate.
In scientific terms a tin opener is just a lever
Operating a linear wedge manually. Or a circular wedge
Operated manually by a butterfly lever - SIMPLE!

He should have been the President - or perhaps the King
'He did his very best for us' - we hear the people sing
'He did his very best for us - a man who always wins'
So hats off to the Genius - He's wiser the Arhenius!
Hats off to the man who made AN OPENER FOR TINS!

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Clara Odelia Ciutara 21 October 2009

You've mixed all the sides to make this poem telling about a tin opener, how you've made it different way for me. Nice...

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bye bye... bye bye 20 October 2009

You are ... INCREDIBLE! I´m dumb out of admiration, can´ t find the opener...

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Jacqui Thewless 20 October 2009

Thanks for the combination of consumer history and comedy - delightful!

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John Knight

John Knight

Liverpool - UK
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