Loretta Doyle Smalley

(April 25,1986 / Grant Hospital Columbus, Ohio)

The Truth

The truth is unspoken because of my fear.
The fear that keeps going through my head.
The truth is, is that I am scared that if I tell you the truth about how I feel when I am with you, and what I am thinking everytime you are near I might lose you.
I don't want to mess up our friendship.
I fear that you might turn away and walk on.
The truth about me when I am around you is really hard to explain.
Whenever you touch me I get butterflies in my stomach.
When you look in to my eyes I get weak in my stomach.
I know that I look at other guys when I am with you and plus talk about them but the truth is, is that I hiding how I feel about you.
When I do that it kinda helps me from slipping up.
When you're around me no one else matters.
When I am at work or at home or just out chilling with friends you're always in my head.
All I do is mostly think of you.
It gets hard sometimes trying to clear my head.
So that I can concentrate on whatever I am doing, but nothing really works.
I hope that you understand what I am trying to say.
The truth is, is that whenever you smille or laugh it brings stars to my eyes as my heart pounds out of control.
I know that this all sounds crazy but it is all true.
You're the only guy to ever make me feel this way.
I am scared.
I don't want to get hurt again.
I wouldn't be able to handle it.
The more that we share together the closer I get to you.
I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
The truth is, is that I have tried over and over again to tell you the truth.
The truth about everything, but I just close up inside when it comes down to it.
My fear gets the best of me every time.
It is easy to wirte this all down, but not to tell you to your face.
How do I tell you the truth to your face?
How do I, taking the risk of losing you as a friend?

Submitted: Tuesday, May 10, 2005

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