The Wedding Poem by Mark Nichols

THE GREETERS
Shiva, Isis, Gaia, Jesus, Baal
Mother Earth, Father Sun, welcome one and all!
Pantheistic, Atheistic, Muslim, Jew and Christian
Fitting you in is our theological vision

DEVIL
It looks like the house of God is subdivided
Condos for rent, all utilities provided
Aryabhatt, wine, Breaking bread, wedding cake
and The Grateful Dead
It's all right here
And it's all just fine.

ALL
Welcome brothers, Welcome sisters
Buddhas, Buffalos and holy cows, Mrs. & Misters

LEADER I see that my man Mohammad's in the house!
We pray to the 4 directions North, East, West & South. North! East! West! South!

DEVIL
Oh my god,
I'm bored already
I hate weddings, don't you, Neddy?

GOD
Mirna, Mirna, I do to,
But if we're lucky they've boiled it down
To a concentrated brew

LEADER
Oh, God, your light's so bright that sometimes we are frightened

GUESTS
Oh, God, your light's so bright that sometimes we are frightened.

LEADER
Give us all your gifts, so we may be enlightened

GUESTS
Give us all your gifts, so we may be enlightened!

Free us oh free us, free us from desire
Meditate, medicate and dance around the fire

THE BRIDE'S MOTHER
The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in

MEN
Mazeltof, Heichka, Sala malekum
The petals they are many
But the flower is just one

WOMEN
Catch the Moon and ride the sun

ALL
Tara tara Tara Tara

WOMEN
Hallelujah Heya Ho

ALL
Heya Heya heya!

WOMEN
The water and rivers Flow!

ALL
Heya heya Heyo!

LEADER
Starchild do not fear the spaceship when you go
Who's got the wedding ring?

BEST MAN
I do, I do.

LEADER
Do you take this bride to be your lawful wedded wife?

GROOM Yes

LEADER
And do you take this guy
here in sickness and in strife?

BRIDE Yes!

LEADER
I now pronounce you muja mu
Flippin dipity dipsy doo.
You may now kiss the bride.