Rachelle Toscannini

Rookie (lousiannia)

the window


She looks out the cold window her breath
Fogs the cold frozen window
She looks out in to the dark cold outside
For a light to brighten the sky
She stares coldly out the fogged window
Her hand pressed against the window
She screams out his name in hope that
He'll return home to her
She loves hims deeply as tears stream
Down her face for the love she has for him
Looking out the cold fogged window

Submitted: Monday, December 11, 2006
Edited: Wednesday, December 08, 2010

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  • Rookie Scarborough Gypsy (12/11/2006 7:38:00 PM)

    Would you consider something like this at the end 'She loves him deeply, as tears streamed down the open windows of her sole'?

    Just a thought.

    Loved this poem. I think it flows brilliantly. Very good write. I just think the last two lines should have more impact.

    Kind regards
    Gyp's (Report) Reply

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