There's No Such Thing Poem by bob eichen

May I help you, sir?
ONE LUNCH, PLEASE.
That'll be $8.99.
I THOUGHT THEY WERE FREE.
There's no such thing as a free lunch, sir.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT'S FREE?
Will.
YOU HAVE FREE WILL?
Yes, sir.
FINE, THEN I'LL HAVE ONE OF THOSE.
So, that's one free will for Mr. Bigspender. Will there be anything else?
ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! GIVE ME ONE LUNCH.
OH, AND A SMALL SODA.
So, that's one free will, one lunch and one small soda. That'll be $10.99.
WHAT! A SMALL SODA IS $2.00?
That's correct, sir.
FINE, FINE!
OH!
CAN YOU BREAK A HUNDRED?