These Damn Farts Poem by Randy Johnson

When I'm around people, they soon depart.
They don't like it because I constantly fart.
People always get offended because I pass gas.
I farted in front of Daddy and he kicked my ass.
I constantly have to find new friends because these farts are rude.
I eat pinto beans three times a day, maybe I should eat other foods.
I just farted and now I've lost another friend.
I hate these loud and smelly discharges that come from my rearend.

(THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM.)