This Isn'T A Library Poem by Randy Johnson

(This is a fictional poem)

You're really pissing me off because you think this is a library instead of a store.
If you're not going to buy my magazines, I don't want you looking at them anymore.
Unless you're going to buy the magazine, I want you to put it back.
If you give me the finger one more time, I'll give you a hard smack.
Yesterday a guy took a Playboy in the bathroom because he thought I wouldn't mind.
He was in there for a good thirty minutes and when he came out, he had gone blind.
Now you're reading a fishing magazine that tells you how to catch bass.
You'd better put it back on the shelf right now or I'll kick your scrawny ass.
This isn't a library and that's something you'd better learn.
I've kicked a lot of people's asses and now it's your turn.