Thoughs Poem by If I say Im lost, Would you come find me

Racing faster and faster,
so fast it seem to feel as they are slowing down.
Slowing down to the point were it feels like it takes days to go by.
Thoughts of the pain,
negate,
sorrow and complete misery.
Thoughts constantly repeating,
constantly circling me.
Driving me insane slowly,
yet fast enough for me to realize.
There is truly no escape for me to get away,
not simply walk away,
not even run as fast as i can to were my legs r num from the endless pathetic pattern.
My throat so dry that it feels as if its cracking like the desert,
and my heart pounding as if any second it will completely stop.
It feels like the only escape is one
I refuse to take refuse to allow,
yet i have attempted many times and have seen the thoughts disappear for a few seconds, that felt like minutes.
That made me fell so free, but at the same time so trapped and chained down.
As if im a bird locked in a cage and looking out the widow to see the clear blue sky and the sun shining.
I try with everything i have to forget, to avoid the pictures and memories that follow.
The thoughts swallow everything i am and more.
I truly wish i could escape, but i cant for the simple though of hope keeps me going.
Yet i cant say it is hope, but a little blue eyed sweet heart that has a endless tough love and a caring mother that refuses to stop fighting for her life,
her two children,
her everything.
The thoughts are so sweet and so poisoning that its deadly.