Thoughts Of A Thinking Man Poem by Barry Weedon

When I was young my hair grew thick, and Brylcreem made it stiff:
I carved a parting ruler-straight, and a sculptured wavy quiff.

My hairline never bothered me, and I paid it little heed,
Till the dark day that I noticed it had started to recede.

But my father reassured me, saying, "Son, when on the hunt,
The girls all know you're a man who thinks, if you're balding from the front."

This cheered me up for months, but I was suddenly to find
My world collapsed - I was quite appalled: I was going bald behind!

Now my mother said "Don't worry, son - maintain your chosen track.
It proves to girls you're sexy, if you're balding at the back."

There's a lesson in here somewhere, and I think it's this: think twice
When someone offers comfort when you really need advice -

For my ‘ex', as she was leaving, uttered words to chill and vex me:
"A man who's bald at the front and the back is a man who thinks he's sexy."