To Fade Away Poem by Bethany Maxwell

I want to melt away into nothing,
To be a simple molecule of air,
Floating in and out of people' lives,
Without them even knowing.
I want to be in my own world, my own eternity.

Why can't you just understand that,
Why can't you look in my eyes,
And see that I don't want to be trapped,
In your cage of protection,
I want to be in an unprotected world fighting for myself!

I want to fall to pieces at the feet of the world,
I want to bow down and move as it moves,
Not fighting each current,
Not going against it to try to form my own world,
I want to know where I stand and who I am.

I want to become one with the outside world,
Leave everything behind me from this life,
No more cages or lies or protection from a world I have to face.
I want to make my own mistakes and correct them myself,
Without you trying to do it for me.

The fire inside me burns at a slow simmer,
Waiting for something to give it fuel,
Fuel to overcome my body and melt away my skin,
Working it's way through me to engulf me once again,
Engulf me in the feeling of being locked away from everything of anger.

If I could just fade to nothing,
Breathe the air that was breathed by the sycamore,
Drink the water that was dumped from the heavens above,
If I could just be at true peace with my own tranquility,
If I could just be alive and not be expected to be perfect but just be me.

What would happen if I faded into this void of meditation,
Would I be driven mad or insane,
Would I never want to leave this feeling of ecstasy behind me,
Would everything be okay just for one time; one moment,
Could I be so simply there, not be noticed?

I want to do nothing but sit in my world of perfectness,
If even just for a moment or day,
I want to wade in the pool of immortality,
I want to find who I am,
I don't want to fight it anymore I want to let it overtake me.

I want to be melted away into something so simple and perfect,
So impossibly flawless so pure
I want to melt; find the simplistic life that so many people are blind to,
I want to open my eyes and see this place, this world,
I want to see.

I want to melt away into nothing,
I want to become one with the world around me,
With the life within me.
I want to escape into this world of perfect being,
And fade to nothing.

By: Bethany Maxwell

September 14,2009