To Help You Understand Poem by Jessica Goudreault

You think I live a life of glamour and fame,
You’ve never seen all of my pain.

I’ve made mistakes,
I regret my past,
I’ve been accused of being fake,
And I’ve been laughed at.

I’ve matured too fast,
I wish I could relive my past.

I long to forget,
Don’t think I’ve never seen death.

I’ve had my heart torn to shreds,
I’ve pushed away my closest friends.

You don’t think I know what hate is,
You must think I’ve never lived.

Don’t think I can’t be tough,
You haven’t seen what I’ve done.

I’ve felt rage surge through my veins,
I’ve felt so many different kinds of pain.

I’ve stood on the wrong side of the line,
Too afraid to speak my mind.

When the only thing left to fear is fear itself,
I’ll never accomplish anything else.

I’ve only felt comfort in the thought of dying,
Sometimes I can’t stop crying.

I’ve felt the hands of wrath,
I’ve seen you leave and know you’re not coming back.

My dreams have been crushed,
I’ve made mistakes because of lust.

I fear that I can’t escape myself,
That my whole reality has become a doubt.

I pray to keep my sanity every day that I’m alive,
The ongoing struggle that I try to hide.

Maybe if you saw inside my head
The f*cked up things I’ve never said,
You’d understand a part of me
It’d help you see as I see.

Don’t think you’re the only one of your kind,
You won’t know me until you’ve been in my shoes.
Nobody ever wins,
We all eventually lose.