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Jan Freundschuh

(November 1946)

Trying To Alter The Course Of The River Of Thought


The Code is calling to my attention again,
The code of Life, that is -
I am struggling to decode.

I get the noun 'Time',
But what is the surrounding grammar?
Worry about the swift passing of time?
Don't worry about it......Relax?

I'll go with: Don't worry about it
As that is more consonant with
Previous passages.

But how? how to not worry in
The face of awareness
Of all of these, our troubles?

-Simple. There is no way
-Without the greatest of
-Paradigm Shifts.

Splendid! How helpful!
What shift would that be?
Pray tell, Know-it-all.

-Well, turn the whole thing
-Over on its head.
-If it is Death that frightens,
-Make Death itself the goal
-Make it the proud day
-You finally pen
-'The End' to your novel.

-If 'cruelty' scares you
-(This is truly a hard one) ,
-Make it very, very abstract.....
-Make it but a wrong turn
-In the Maze of the brain
-As we all seek
-A way out.

-If separation makes you cry;
-Mother from child,
-Child from mother:

(See, there's no way.....just no way....
To make this plunge, a floating!)

-Not so. If we're not the mother....
-But only dearly loved 'babysitter'....
-Don't be a usurper.....nor bewail
-Mother-Child reunion.

Enough of this imagining.
Cowards die a thousand deaths,
The brave man only once.

What did you call it?
The novelist's last page?
Guess I'll try to keep focused on
The narrative at hand.

* * * * * * * * *

Time......Time.......
Spring is in the air.
But I don't want to be lulled,
Silenced, by the beauty.

-Why not?

Because I try to separate out
What is me....what is She....
(What the great rolling
Of the planet's power) .

Cause I'm here......
.....Must be to make some
Kind of mark.

-Fundamental question now:
-Why?
-What does this tell you?
-This need to make a mark?
-What will it mean
-100 years from now?

It means, I'm part of a larger whole?
It means, contributing's the goal?

When I was young, I had no such thought,
I was some kind of animal
Rooting around for pleasure
And good luck.

The goal was for more 'spotlight'
On me!
World, pay attention!
Mommy! watch what I can do!

But I didn't do much
Because I kept getting distracted
By shiny objects, from
A book, a stroll, a song.

So I zigzagged between my plans
And the intrigues of
The mysteries.

* * * * * * * * * *

And now all is quiet
And I'm decoding life's message
And it speaks of Time

And it seems to say
'Don't worry'.

It says, - Life teaches through pain
-And it teaches through ease,

-If you've spent much time in
-The classroom of Dr. Pain
-Take your next semester
-With this very different teacher.

Here's the sad part....the hard part....
One would think this would be
Lovely to hear,
And very easily done
(A welcome task at hand) .

But I keep getting D's and F's
In Relaxation 101.

Submitted: Friday, April 06, 2012
Edited: Friday, April 06, 2012

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