Twelve Light Limericks Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

A young lady had travelled from Pisa,
but had failed to arrange for a visa.
So they turned her around
on the technical ground
that she wasn't the Mona Lisa.

A young man from the city of Kotten,
had befriended and now was besotten
by a fisherman's girl
with the good name of Merle.
She was cute but she always smelled rotten

He went out with his Golden Retriever,
who caught, down by the creek, a gray beaver.
So they roasted the meat
and ate all but the feet,
in the morning they both had a fever.

At the edge of a lake stood a stork
who was partial to frogs, not to pork.
Said the smart frog, a nerd
I am REALLY a bird
and you MUST eat a bird with a fork.

Down our street lives a fellow named Miser.
He is said to have gotten no wiser.
After forty-two years
he was still in arrears
with no kids and a very slow riser.

A fellow named Frederick Wentzel
had a habit of licking his pencil.
He was sure it would glide
for a much better ride
with the lead being wet in the stencil.

At the station were waiting two fags.
Sitting patiently, reading their mags.
With a bag in each hand
do you, Sir, understand
how each boarded the train with three bags?

Jeremiah was handsome and fit,
though he liked the occasional hit
of a high grade cocain
for emotional pain,
but it ate away all of his wit.

Said the doctor my dear Mrs. Riah
if you drink so much Belgian biah
you can surely expect
as an aftereffect
lots of foam and the diarrhea.

Said the vicar of Rome after dinner
I have BEEN a most terrible sinner.
But I cannot decline
when it comes to good wine,
that's the reason I'm not getting thinner.

She was serving the plumber some tea,
which he promptly then spilled on his knee.
Since the tea was quite hot
she brought over a pot
just to soothe it of course, not to pee.

Can I BE, said the lady, your friend,
you are truly to me a God-send,
but this pact must be chaste
and not even a taste
can be shared (that's unless we pretend) .