Uncle Lemon's Revenge Poem by Hubert Wilson

Most of the county had not a clue
With Uncle Lemon, just what to do?
This rascal most notorious
Over the sheriff always seemed to be victorious.
Selling the best illegal Prohibtion whiskey,
No matter how risky.
Chicago gangsters in the Great Depression
Had even failed to stop his competing 'liquid profession'.
With World War II raging,
Uncle Lemon's vaunted talents with local ladies grew more engaging.
With most younger men away at war,
Uncle Lemon's middle-aged charms took him too far.
His Saturday night dance hall fights
Reached new heights.
Then, the local draft board
Reached a convenient unanimous accord.
Even though Uncle Lemon was too old,
They would draft him into the army to be controlled.
He would be away till the war ended,
Which the local sheriff thought most splendid!
Or, luckily die in an attack,
And never come back!
Uncle Lemon was soon drafted
After this plan was crafted.
But to their dismay,
He was not sent far away.
Placed in charge of a nearby army post motor pool,
He was soon back every weekend with an army car and lots of 'fuel'!
The army tried to discharge him for being too old.
He rejected this plan as his new patriotic life he extolled.
For the rest of the war much of the county he continued to incense -
And all at government expense!

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