Margaret Alice Second

(24 January 1961 / South Africa)

Unfathomable Things (REVISED)


Pros and cons inevitably mean loss of freedom; we
win by offering friendship with loyalty for the price
of autonomy, and that means losing loneliness –
which is a double whammy. First you’re furious at me
allowing sis to buy medication for Nici – expressing

Outrage in gesture and angry voice; I feel guilty for
offending your sense of propriety (note: but not for
committing a sin because I did not harm anyone) :
you get annoyed when I note your hostility, say
how dare I misconstrue your altruistic motives

I offer apologies for the offences, not sure what sin
I have committed in your eyes, stare into the night
conceding your version of events – of committing
some kind of treason by daring to feel hurt by your
self-righteous rejection of sis mothering our child

A new synergy of solidarity between sister and me
threatens you, no term too strenuous to state this;
leg aching I get out of bed, try to make sense of the
offence – then you say the leg problem is agreed,
now we’ll bear this cross with joyous aplomb

… I’m still pondering these unfathomable things…


[ORIGINAL :)

Pros and cons, pros and cons means loss of freedom,
we win so much by offering friendship and loyalty,
the price we pay – loss of freedom – means losing
loneliness - double whammy: first you are furious
about me allowing sis to buy medication for Nici

Expressing your outraged feelings in gesture and angry
voice; I felt guilty for offending your sense of propriety,
note: not for committing any sin because I did not harm
anyone; you got angry when I pointed out your hostility,
asking how dare I misconstrue your altruistic motives

I offered my apologies for both offences; not sure exactly
what amount of sin I had committed in your eyes, staring
into the night on conceding your version of events: that I
had committed some kind of treason by daring to feel hurt
by your self-righteous rejection of sis mothering our child

You feel a new synergy between my sister and me threatens
our solidarity - no terms too strenuous in which to express
this - I got out of bed to try and make sense of the offence,
leg aching - you said now the leg problem was in the open,
it was time to bear this cross with the joyous aplomb

I showed before… I’m pondering these unfathomable things…

19 April 2013

Submitted: Friday, April 19, 2013
Edited: Saturday, April 20, 2013

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