Unsaid Goodbyes (Ordinary Poem) Poem by Eman Awad

I loved you so much and i still do,
i think that i loved you even more than your self.
But my dream never came true,
now, you're gone and i need a serious help..
I'm not crying, looking at you and hold my tears,
i'm not looking for ways to be with you once again.
I'm not shivering and i'm lost in fears,
that you may love another and cause me even more pain.
I'm not going through this,
or it would be just another ordinary poem.
I've lost it with lonliness,
i'm not crying but i'm not leaving home.
I don't see you and i don't want you,
and even when i do i just pass you by.
I become some one else when i talk to you,
and i decided that we talk after goodbye.
I have some thing like a scar,
above my eyes for i'm always sad.
I don't care if i'm going far,
i'm not coming back and i'm not mad.
I'm just starting to be different,
i found a great way to survive and outlive.
But as weird and as difficult,
as it may seem, it's me who i can't forgive.
I'm finding it weird every time i look at my face,
and it's so strange to me hearing my own voice.
Am i getting lost even in those lands i've paced,
is it all because of making just a wrong choice?
I'm starting to fear my self and i don't know why,
i can't find a proper reason for what i became in.
Life is just cases of unsaid goodbyes and i try,
to stand strong after losing any thing or any one,
i lost my freedom and my love and that heaven i lived within.