Vortex Poem by Nick Downer

sometimes i can feel it start.
i start to get a really sick sensation
in my stomach,
like its being squeezed
and is all tight and tense,
and it kinda spreads
upward to my heart,
that squeezing sensation.
and i can feel it pound.
i can hear it.
i can feel the throbbing.
i can feel it in my arms,
in every part...
trying hard to squeeze out the thoughts,
the feelings,
the overwhelming monster creeping in.
every inch of my sits still and tight,
waiting and praying that by holding on,
it can keep at bay the enemy.
but then, no matter how still i go,
how my breath stops,
as if breathing will breathe life
into the thoughts i dont want,
it comes crashing in
like a terrible storm
blowing in all the doors and windows.
and the tears flood down,
and my body wracks with
the release of all that tension,
the giving in, the defeat.
the thoughts come flooding in
faster then the tears,
and heavier,
pressing against my mind until
it aches so much
and i wonder how it doesnt explode.
all i can do is gasp for air,
gasp for sanity
and pray that i make it out alive.