Mandolyn ...

wake me when death brings cheesecake

flecks of wanting, needing
fall around me
it doesn't rain or snow here, the sky
has no revolving door...

i feel the dust of something else
landing in my eyes, my heart
tugging at my ankles when i walk
the wrong way

dragging my smile
because it's supposed to be up
reminding the people around me
there's love

oh there's love-

there's love in the sound of a car peeling out
the wind in a pine tree, a bird
on a branch
it's the canyon that chats with
a ridiculous sun, a mirage on the road
that keeps saying 'come-on'

an airplane at midnight, clouds
casting shadows
that shifts my attention, picks at
my skin, till i itch and give up
and choose numbness again-

Submitted: Friday, August 01, 2014
Edited: Sunday, November 09, 2014

Topic of this poem: pain

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  • Veteran Poet - 3,943 Points Bri Edwards (8/1/2014 11:13:00 PM)

    HAVE MORE PAIN AND FRUSTRATION, if this is the result!

    although i favor 'wind in the pines', my favorite lines (so far) are these:

    it's the canyon that chats with
    a ridiculous sun, a mirage on the road
    that keeps saying 'come-on'
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    when my brain decided to choose one word to describe this poem, it chose edgy, as in definition #2:

    adjective: edgy; comparative adjective: edgier; superlative adjective: edgiest

    tense, nervous, or irritable.
    he became edgy and defensive
    synonyms: tense, nervous, on edge, anxious, apprehensive, uneasy, unsettled;
    twitchy, jumpy, keyed up, restive, skittish, neurotic, insecure;
    irritable, touchy, tetchy, testy, crotchety, prickly;
    informaluptight, wired, snappy, strung out
    everyone was edgy as the deadline approached
    antonyms: calm
    (of a musical performance or a piece of writing) having an intense or sharp quality.
    at the forefront of a trend; experimental or avant-garde.
    their songs combine good music and smart, edgy ideas
    synonyms: cutting-edge, on-the-edge, fringe, avant-garde, innovative, original, offbeat;
    an edgy new novel
    antonyms: conventional
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -though there may be some of #1 as well. :) bri

    p.s. rereading it, i am prompted to applaud these lines as well, which doesn't mean i like the poem, of course:

    flecks of wanting, needing
    fall around me

    [i won't tell if i'm sending this to MyPoemList.] (Report) Reply

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