We Only Half-Live Poem by Jesse Ellsbury

that’s why we need another
to cling to,
to cast our lot with and bring to
the future like a captive,
a brainwashed mastiff,
I thought I had to give
part of myself to be loved,
but I had too little to start with.

We only half-love,
reserving one half for ourselves
through whatever
faith or foul weather
happens to come our way
I try every day
to moderate
between the extremes of self-love and self-hate
lies a lifetime,
I’ve spent mine
running to and away from both.

We only half-lie,
if we thought something we believed in it at some time
even a falsehood
reveals the person who tells it
at some point
we become too eager,
to blend truth with how we see it,
I started this argument having no thesis,
and if, on some level, you believed it,
how does it feel to be deceived?

We have a half-life;
living in Armageddon,
Heaven seems a far way off.
We have lost
and degraded
things we’ve loved and things we’ve hated
and our degradation over time,
a million destroyed for every one that survives
none of us get out alive.