What Does It Mean? Poem by Harthman Carpio Munteanu

What does it mean I can not see the eyes
of the one I’m so in love with?
What does it mean I can not embrace
the being of the one I so long for?

To kiss my lover’s lips, so softly in my memory,
So wet of given passion to me so many times
What does it mean to curl into a sinful dream?


If not being able of stopping the awakening
Of this malicious laugh…
What does it mean all this?
Turned off by my incapacity of… anything
Crushed by my own illusions and dumb imagination
Wondering through my mind the thought that…
It has no purpose what so ever
To keep trying it in vain
Enhancing my soul with failure

Each time a sun appears, I feel like autumn
And I go back in my June when I left my …
beginnings,
My longings, my dreams and summer…
there, at home, crying…
And I haven’t thought then,
And I haven’t opened my eyes in time and
When I finally did manage to stand
with my head up straight
It was too late, it was evening
And it was cold all around my sins

Poor sinner, walking and stepping
in other people’s dreams
Without a right and without a left
Only with my eyes closed and
Dumbly selfish…
And I have this war inside me
of which I cannot get over
Because it brings me closer
to an illusion wearing your name and,
once again, I go through pictures
and memories…