What Happened To Me? Poem by Nicole Brewer

This is mine, I wrote it, Don't steal it

Stuck in this seat.

Shaking everywhere

We need air to breath,

But mine won't come out

Shaking,

Suffering,

My body is out of control

Falling into a deeper fear.

Of losing.

Losing myself.

What happened to me?

My smile is plastic

Like a Barbies

I'm an over-sized,

Acne faced,

Oiled Barbie.

The second attack comes.

I try to hold it in.

But the shaking doesn't stop.

I'm forsing myself to breath

He looks over

And my heart goes into hyper drive

Great, just another thing out of control

The clock strikes 2: 40

The bell goes off

School is finally over.

Yet I'm stuck in my seat

Barbies mask comes out

I say 'I'm Fine'

with a 'smile' on my face

my mucles tenced

What happened to me?

My friends disappear,

My family is gone

I refuse to cut.

Why would I?

I'm numb enough

I don't need to prove it with a knife

These scratches,

Scars,

Bruices,

Are from me being clumsy

Not to make me,

'Feel alive'

I already know

I'm an empty shell

What happened to me?

I'm deppresed.

My nose into a book

My head is going numb

It feels like I'm falling

Yet no one will catch me

The hair over my eyes,

The black in my clothes

Makes people not Friendly

I bacame anti-social

What happened to me?