Treasure Island

sagar patil.

(03/06/1990 / maharashtra, india)

when u were forced to cry.


when u were forced to cry, why laughing again
we're distance even being together
so why did i approach u

why did faith loyalty love the heart?
why did become sinful to feel love?
why did someone's shadow fall upon our path?

why u have come like stranger
even u can't give us more time!
what was our sin? why did u torture us?

when u were forced to cry, why laughing again
we're distance even being together
so why did i approach u

i cant thinking about u my love!
because there is no end of love!
i love u till the end!

i missed u (dpka)

Submitted: Friday, September 14, 2012

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  • Poetheart Morgan (10/5/2012 11:53:00 AM)

    I must always reread you, Sagar, such sensitivity. The good of love is a bit of pain and longing, but do not give up never.She can also be happy with you, waiting for you! (Report) Reply

  • Samantha Robinson (9/25/2012 1:05:00 PM)

    I would use a capital to start the first line of each stanza. Also only use one? per stanza. Line Why did faith loyalty love thwart, needs reworking faith and loyalty, or faith loyally.. I would have used When instead of why for Why did become sinful, you need to put and adverb in front of become, When did it become sinful.. Love the last line in that stanza, beautifully evocative. Why have you not why u have.. We're distanced even.. another great line. Poetry all about saying something huge in a few words and you are defiantly a poet. I think you meant to put I can't stop thinking about you? Merely grammatical errors. Very nice job. Samantha (Report) Reply

  • Thomas A Robinson (9/24/2012 1:10:00 PM)

    beautiful poem Saga
    I know i your culture it is popular to have
    arranged marriages.If this is the problem
    I am sorry. I married two times for love
    and I have divorced two times. (Report) Reply

  • So Close (9/23/2012 10:18:00 AM)

    hi sagar, your way of thinking is superb and you perfectly explained your love...gud job

    »so close« (Report) Reply

  • Lalit Kumar Deb (9/18/2012 1:25:00 PM)

    The best poems are those that spontaneously pour out from a heart tormented by sorrow, suffering and separation. (Report) Reply

  • Romeo Della Valle (9/17/2012 11:09:00 PM)

    Bravo! In matters of love, only time can tell! I can burn a thousand pictures of her but I can't simply forget her! My mind is not like a hard drive that can be low-level formatted and every file wiped out completely! I understand you perfectly and I identify myself with this well crafted and poignant write! 10+++ Thank you for sharing and Keep it up! You got what it takes to make to the top of the Poetry World: TALENT! God Bless You! Romeo-New York City (Report) Reply

  • Poetheart Morgan (9/17/2012 6:28:00 PM)

    you can lost her but never Your love! ! ! That's why because there is no end of love!
    i love u till the end! (Report) Reply

  • Neela Nath (9/17/2012 11:57:00 AM)

    Dpka. Your earnest love for your ladylove, Dipika(?) is expressed here earnestly. (Report) Reply

  • Veeraiyah Subbulakshmi (9/17/2012 7:11:00 AM)

    Falling in love is not a sin, but we should not regret later for having fallen in love too early, too young, wrong person and many more. so enjoy yourself if you think that you are all right! (Report) Reply

  • Payal Parande (9/16/2012 4:12:00 AM)

    i heard when a guy falls in love he becomes a man and how spectacular man you have became.........
    i am speechless after reading your piece...
    love'
    payal (Report) Reply

  • Unwritten Soul (9/14/2012 11:10:00 AM)

    Oh my dear friend, Sagar, be strong, be strong, be free be free...this is how you tell your heart how hard life is when the things come out not as we wish...you must move on, i am sure dpka will understand....i am so glad to see the great feeling in you that really pure and chaste, but must be ware dont kill your tears with pain yet it will fall and drown u in suffocating emotion...nice write sagar_Unwritten Soul (Report) Reply

Read all 15 comments »

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