Where's Happiness When You Need It? Poem by Kelsey Joe

Am I crazy?
I'm suppose to be happy...
But yet I'm miserable.

Is it wrong
to feel like grabbing that razor
And cutting deep?

I need something.
Someone to lean on.
Help?

I want to throw up.
I want to break down.
Noone can save me.
Once a harmer,
Always a harmer.

Can I be buried?
I saw those sleeping pills
and wanted them.
I have a boyfriend,
Aren't I suppose to be happy?

I never do anything right.
Cant someone save me?
I need help.
But I dont want it.

I'm cold.
For the same reasons again.
I want to cut.
I want to bleed.
Do I have depression?
I dont know.

If I'm suppose to be happy,
Then why am I still miserable?