yoonoos peerbocus

Rookie - 20 Points (05/08/1941 / Mauritius)

Whither Traveller - Poem by yoonoos peerbocus

Rattle fall rat grey rain,
Lightning torches only the sky,
Earthly feet gropes as braille
Soul's way in night's darkness.
Steamed stew, warm bed, light,
All not me, recedes
Save soaked wood scent


And the crow's croak
Or forest's voice in crow's accent-
Pure cosmology of perfection,
Where began creation
Beyond man's invention-
Dawn opening out to nature,
Reveals this morning of life.


Comments about Whither Traveller by yoonoos peerbocus

  • Gold Star - 14,840 Points * Sunprincess * (10/2/2012 1:37:00 AM)

    just thinking of the early days of creation
    is hard for my mind to comprehend..
    excellent write.. :) (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Rookie Abubakar Ahmed Imam (7/6/2010 9:49:00 AM)

    This is a good poem. The fluidity of the lines and the poignancy of the poem attest to that. I was wondering though if you could do without 'only' in 2nd line. Consider Lightning torches the sky. Just wondering. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Anita Trivedi (6/7/2010 11:59:00 AM)

    It's beautiful.......... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 13 Points Whisperkwane Lamb (3/23/2010 1:23:00 AM)

    to travel is to grow...gain an emotion never felt before...see many roads which lead to one...you wrote it well my friend...very good (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 813 Points Antonio Liao (1/26/2010 11:06:00 PM)

    Yah! for a dropp of water leaves no mark, in the ocean of sea... traveller whither...
    God bless 10 +++++ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Lola Habas (11/22/2009 1:25:00 PM)

    truly sweet and poetic. thanks for sharing.10 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 17 Points Milica Franchi De Luri (11/8/2009 8:07:00 PM)

    Love the way you build it up. Like any good peace of literature, it has beginning middle and ending. Starting with the travelers observation of the conditions of the night, ' grey rain', 'lightning torches the sky', followed by settling in and taking comfort in 'steamed stew, warm bad and light'. In the conclusion; the call of the crow at down, and the spiritual awareness of the beauty of nature 'beyond man's invention'...........10 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Mark Nwagwu (10/16/2009 3:34:00 AM)

    Lightning torches only the sky; it's happening up there, doesn't concern me. Whither do I go, to nature's creation or human invention? Take me to the dawn that reveals the morning of life. It's ever so wonderful how 'the resurrection'; the joy; life's meaning; life's purpose; dawn after the fall - all come wrapped up in sublime taste in the last two lines of your poems. I keep learning, Yoonoos, I keep learning - not fast enough though! 10 many times over
    mark (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Mark Nwagwu (10/16/2009 3:10:00 AM)

    Lightning torches only the sky; it's happening up there, doesn't concern me. Whither do I go, to nature's creation or human invention? Take me to the dawn that reveals the morning of life. It's ever so wonderful how 'the resurrection'; the joy; life's meaning; life's purpose; dawn after the fall - all come wrapped up in sublime taste in the last two lines of your poems. I keep learning, Yoonoos, I keep learning - not fast enough though! 10 many times over
    mark (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Mark Nwagwu (10/16/2009 3:08:00 AM)

    Lightning torches only the sky; it's happening up there, doesn't concern me. Whither do I go, to nature's creation or human invention? Take me to the dawn that reveals the morning of life. It's ever so wonderful how 'the resurrection'; the joy; life's meaning; life's purpose; dawn after the fall - all come wrapped up in sublime taste in the last two lines of your poems. I keep learning, Yoonoos, I keep learning - not fast enough though! 10 many times over
    mark (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 326 Points Chris G. Vaillancourt (10/14/2009 11:15:00 PM)

    an enjoyable, well written piece (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Mohammed Hassan (10/12/2009 3:05:00 AM)

    i gave you 10 for these feelings very nice one
    keep it up (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Sarwar Chowdhury (9/27/2009 12:46:00 PM)

    again-
    great imageries that catched the reader! successful poetic vision! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 5 Points Paolo Giuseppe Mazzarello (9/22/2009 10:24:00 AM)

    Feeling of nature, sensitivity and poetry. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie The Understander (9/8/2009 12:03:00 AM)

    10/10 for sure. Great poem! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Maria Barbara Korynt (9/2/2009 11:04:00 AM)

    Beautiful poem. I like it very much.(10v.) Maria Barbara Korynt (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Sarvesh Kulkarni (6/25/2009 7:38:00 AM)

    wonderful poem.....
    nice imagery...
    beautifully crafted...
    thank you. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie ****tamara Hanaring.****** , A Thought Mate, (6/11/2009 3:39:00 AM)

    a wonderful poem filled by that travellers images...enjoyed the rain scent and the feet which covered by that mud in that forest between that greeny thick trees..10+++++ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Matthew C. L. Pratt (5/28/2009 6:04:00 PM)

    I really like the structure of the poem.
    The first stanza is really descriptive and very effective, the second contrasts by giving a more insightful view. Great poem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Samanyan Lakshminarayanan (5/25/2009 1:49:00 AM)

    the beauty of nature..the dawn you show with amusic (Report) Reply

Read all 289 comments »




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Poem Submitted: Monday, October 6, 2008

Poem Edited: Friday, January 9, 2009


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