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yoonoos peerbocus

Rookie (05/08/1941 / Mauritius)

Whither Traveller


Rattle fall rat grey rain,
Lightning torches only the sky,
Earthly feet gropes as braille
Soul's way in night's darkness.
Steamed stew, warm bed, light,
All not me, recedes
Save soaked wood scent


And the crow's croak
Or forest's voice in crow's accent-
Pure cosmology of perfection,
Where began creation
Beyond man's invention-
Dawn opening out to nature,
Reveals this morning of life.

Submitted: Monday, October 06, 2008
Edited: Friday, January 09, 2009

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Comments about this poem (Whither Traveller by yoonoos peerbocus )

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  • Bronze Star - 7,018 Points * Sunprincess * (10/2/2012 1:37:00 AM)

    just thinking of the early days of creation
    is hard for my mind to comprehend..
    excellent write.. :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Abubakar Ahmed Imam (7/6/2010 9:49:00 AM)

    This is a good poem. The fluidity of the lines and the poignancy of the poem attest to that. I was wondering though if you could do without 'only' in 2nd line. Consider Lightning torches the sky. Just wondering. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 13 Points Whisperkwane Lamb (3/23/2010 1:23:00 AM)

    to travel is to grow...gain an emotion never felt before...see many roads which lead to one...you wrote it well my friend...very good (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 724 Points Antonio Liao (1/26/2010 11:06:00 PM)

    Yah! for a dropp of water leaves no mark, in the ocean of sea... traveller whither...
    God bless 10 +++++ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 10 Points Milica Franchi De Luri (11/8/2009 8:07:00 PM)

    Love the way you build it up. Like any good peace of literature, it has beginning middle and ending. Starting with the travelers observation of the conditions of the night, ' grey rain', 'lightning torches the sky', followed by settling in and taking comfort in 'steamed stew, warm bad and light'. In the conclusion; the call of the crow at down, and the spiritual awareness of the beauty of nature 'beyond man's invention'...........10 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Mark Nwagwu (10/16/2009 3:34:00 AM)

    Lightning torches only the sky; it's happening up there, doesn't concern me. Whither do I go, to nature's creation or human invention? Take me to the dawn that reveals the morning of life. It's ever so wonderful how 'the resurrection'; the joy; life's meaning; life's purpose; dawn after the fall - all come wrapped up in sublime taste in the last two lines of your poems. I keep learning, Yoonoos, I keep learning - not fast enough though! 10 many times over
    mark (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Mark Nwagwu (10/16/2009 3:10:00 AM)

    Lightning torches only the sky; it's happening up there, doesn't concern me. Whither do I go, to nature's creation or human invention? Take me to the dawn that reveals the morning of life. It's ever so wonderful how 'the resurrection'; the joy; life's meaning; life's purpose; dawn after the fall - all come wrapped up in sublime taste in the last two lines of your poems. I keep learning, Yoonoos, I keep learning - not fast enough though! 10 many times over
    mark (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Mark Nwagwu (10/16/2009 3:08:00 AM)

    Lightning torches only the sky; it's happening up there, doesn't concern me. Whither do I go, to nature's creation or human invention? Take me to the dawn that reveals the morning of life. It's ever so wonderful how 'the resurrection'; the joy; life's meaning; life's purpose; dawn after the fall - all come wrapped up in sublime taste in the last two lines of your poems. I keep learning, Yoonoos, I keep learning - not fast enough though! 10 many times over
    mark (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Matthew C. L. Pratt (5/28/2009 6:04:00 PM)

    I really like the structure of the poem.
    The first stanza is really descriptive and very effective, the second contrasts by giving a more insightful view. Great poem. (Report) Reply

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