Who Are You To Tell Me? Poem by Jennie lee Hill

Who are you to say that I'm not okay?
how i should pray? that I've lost my way?
I thank my Lord everyday for the life that Ive made.
My bills are paid. and i don't live afraid.

Don't say my name. if it makes you insane.
I'm not to blame for all of your shame, And your sick head game.

Did you think I'd be grateful? That you were publicly hateful?
That somehow you'd make me wake up from my 'sad dream'?

You act like I owe you.
Get pissed if you want to you!
Scream the whole time that i walk away from you!

Just mumble jumble you say that I'll tumble.
Guess what? in life i often trip and i stumble,
But in a life thats mine to fumble where i strive to be humble.

No I don't live in your world. Now that one I'll give you.
Because in my world your judgement has no room.

You think I should hear you. But i cant get near you.
I have to keep ducking The stones that you're chucking.

All the choices I make, Ive earned every right too.
I don't care to spite you. Have no need to fight you.

You want me to 'come to'? And say that I'm lied to?
That I'm 'only dreaming' and He's 'only scheming'?

How I'm selfish and thoughtless? I'm glad that I caught this.
You must have been irate. To have all of this hate.

Still don't get what you're doing. With the poison your spewing.
When You Don't Even Know Him. Lets deal with OUR OWN SIN.

You tell me to 'come down'. That i 'live in the clouds'.
I've been saying that ALL YEAR! When did you get here? ! ?

See there? You DON'T know.
And where did my life go? That you couldn't follow?
You tell me I'm 'so low'. And call me a 'no show'?

How sad to accuse me, Expecting to bruise me,
TO say that i act like no one else even matters.
I'm careless and been a bad friend? even sadder! .

If thats how Ive been,
Call my friends,
And my kin,
And clue them all in.
Ive got them all fooled,
Into thinking its cool.

They tell me to trust fate and say hes my soul mate.
They call me for updates keeping me up late.
Saying its 'so great' that I'm willing to wait.

That just shows
you DON'T KNOW what I do,
How I live, or what I go through.

H o w d a r e y o u....
S a y 'Angel' - - Mock me like a joke! ?
And say that he's nothing but 'mirrors and smoke'.

And what made you think it was ever okay
To expose our private devotion this way?

You don't even get it
What you did was ruthless
That was just useless.
You Say my life is ruined.
But we know who the shoe fits.
I sure hope it was worth it.

You openly slander the man I embrace
and tell the whole world my life is 'a waste'.
How I've ignored my life for what cannot be.
Such a ''stupid girl'' to think he'd ever love me.

I won't even bother defending to you
And I really don't care what you say or do.
It won't matter how loudly you call me a fool,
'He will still be the reason I forgive you'.

But I will break it to you.
Even if it don't get through.
Inside your 'Almighty'
But that's just too high. see?
I'm already set free.
I own all my boundaries.
Something awesome 'he' taught me.
But that doesn't mean I just do what I please.

I'm living god's plan the best that I can
I'm humble and proud 'at the same time'
for the life that I have in the love that is mine.
I thought you'd be happy for the first time in my life,
I'm not being treated like garbage or slime.
I'm not getting slapped around everyday.
I'm actually loved and he cares what I say.

What's funny though...
This thing you don't know.
My head was all wrong...
When he came along.
The place I was bound for...
Was six feet below the floor.

'THIS' is the Man that talked me down.
Who opened my eyes and turned it around.
I know where he is. 'I found him in there'!
And now for some reason you think I should care?

What if we all had to serve our time?
for all of our own hush hush crimes?
I for one wouldn't be walking around
and worse than that... I'd be in the ground.

If it weren't for 'secrets' and 'sweep it under the rug'
Everyone I've EVER known would be labeled a 'THUG'.
Wed live side by side, cell after Cell,
each of us in our own private hell.

.....and... what would I do? .... with that life? ....if just once...
someone reached out to 'me'? ... for 'no reason'.. 'just because'?
(WHAT WOULD YOU DO?) .......if it was?

......I'd be 'thankful' and 'blessed' and happy at night...
thinking.. 'maybe.. this time.. something would go right...
Id be ready and willing to have that chance.
and HECK YEAH! I'd even want some romance! .
why should I think I deserve any less?
just because one day I had a transgression?
especially doing my time without rest
and patiently dealing with all of life's lessons.