Who's In Favor Of Global Warming? Poem by Sidi Mahtrow

Those in favor of Global Warming, raise your hand.
What no hands? Everyone's bought the environmentalist stand.
How can that be? We need to protect the planet
But is this the way; the best plan for it?

Except for ugly legs and buns exposed by those who wear shorts,
Would not we all agree that being warm is better than having cold parts?
So now we vote again. Who likes being warm rather than cold?
Look, a few hands are raised, breaking away from the fold.

Why the emotional plea against Global Warming?
Could it be that it's just another politic forming?
You say they have my interest at heart.
Oh really. It's their interest, that's behind the effort.

So we vote again. Are these the people you'd like to have as friends?
Are you willing to have them dictate how any means justify the ends?
A few more hands are raised. Seems that being independent
Wins converts against the cause that at first appeared, Heav'n sent.

Of course taxes will as a consequence increase, but it's a trifle of a raise.
So what they say. It's for the good and anyhow, someone else pays.
Perhaps but when that someone else is you,
Self interest emerges and that's what you pursue.

We vote again. Let's keep taxes as they are.
Perhaps then we can afford a vacation, boat or car.
What's this, more hands in the air?
We may be on to something, people do care.

Panic now pervades the environmental crew
Who just moments before had opponents few.
With people beginning to think this way,
They'll have to find another method for the population to sway.

Health's a ready target. They say sun's exposure
Will short'n life expectancy and cause cancer for sure.
However, staying in a cave is hardly a life.
That's not living; we need balance between pleasure and strife.

Again we vote. Enjoy the out-of-doors, as you did when a kid.
Those heavy clothes, coats, scarfs and gloves, you now can rid.
More hands in the air, not less,
Oh woe, th' environmental crowd's in distress.

They say this is serious, how can we let it go on.
But wait, it's over a hundred years this declining eon.
Industrialization's influence is minimal
It's nature, not man's acts that're criminal.

Th' temperatures scientist 've been taking,
Are warmer now, are deserts in the making?
But Earth's much cooler than before
And naturally; higher temperatures are in store.

Perhaps it's the seashore slipping away,
That has raised the ire of many with dismay.
Respectively, New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore and San Fran
Have all sunk,12,10,8 and 6 inches beneath the waves and sand.

Well, perhaps Atlanta, St. Louis and Fargo
Would like a nice sandy beach to show.
If it should happen, be not dismayed,
It wont happen as our children's lifetime is played.

Is sanity entering our heads?
Global warming's a boggy-man under our beds?
Why vote again? The reasonings done
We all prefer baskin' in the sun.