Why? Poem by Rachel Hubbard

My mind crammed so full of emotion
yet I cannot express my feelings, like I have no motivation
But my heart sits here trying so hard to put into words whats on my mind,
but when it comes to putting my thoughts into words I feel so blind,
These feelings feel so real
but yet when I try to express them I am overcame with fear!
I know in my heart and mind what I want to say,
But this fear controls my lips each day!
And restrains my words, leaving me to try and run, ignore, and hide from the truth, the reality
Inside I know it though no one else sees it as clear as I do I know in my mind and heart it's what would make me complete!
I am so clueless as of how to approach my biggest fear,
which I've came to the conclusion that my biggest fear is......
ME! ! ! I was hurt, abandoned, disappointed by someone I thought I trusted, thought loved me, my own flesh in blood
And for so many years I've blamed my mom, myself, and everyone that cared but all along it was my weakness, my fear always trying to take the easy way out run, hide, ignore it I am scared so scared to love I hide it I run from it it just seems soeasy but in the end I honestly cannot stop or make my feelings, emotions, or love disappear its not that easy.
I'am so ashamed to tell ANYONE how I truly feel because of so many different types of fear that I dont think any one could understand but I can't run any more I have to figure this out I have to come toreality figure out whats real and whats not dispose of the negative and face my fear which is...................................................................
LOVE, HAPPINESS, EMOTION, AND TRUST
and i cannot do it alone I know what I have to do no matter how much it hurts.....................
LOVE,