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(12-18-1997 / Rockton, IL)

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The color,
A bright alluring red
It’s all over the sheets of my bed
I stare down with a look of pure satisfaction
Amazed with my acts of bodily mutilation
My mother in total disbelief
Notices as I grow nervous
She asks why? Why? Why?
When I tried to reply
Something inside me began to die
She thought I was happy
She thought I was content
She felt I was fine in my head
Little did she know all I was feeling
Was the want to be dead
Mentally spun out of control
I too begin to cry
And wonder why? Why? Why?
Why is it I feel hated?
Why is it I feel broken and betrayed?
Why is it that I want to die?
And leave my family alone to sit and cry
And wonder why? Why? Why?
Right now… they suspect nothing
Unaware of the fact that I’m lying here
Slowly
Painfully
Miserably
Dying

Submitted: Sunday, April 07, 2013
Edited: Thursday, October 10, 2013


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