Why Do My Thoughts All Turn To Despairing Possiblities Only? Poem by Shalom Freedman

Why do my thoughts all turn to despairing possibilities only?
Why do I feel so lost? So empty? So devoid of dream?
Why do I feel it has all ended for me?
And my life is about to turn to greater and greater difficulty
And smaller and smaller satisfaction?
Why does Lovelessness hurt more now?
Why do I fear my children’s greater distance,
And my inability to truly help them any longer?
Why do I feel so hopeless and so useless so old and so weary?
What is wrong with me this morning?
And will this now be my mood forever
Or will it be broken as it usually is
When I open the door and go into the morning light
And walk up the hill to Shul as fast as I can
With prayer to God in my mind?