Why Don'T I Love You? Poem by Sam Price

Why don't I love you? Let me count the ways.
Firstly you really stink. As you refuse to wash for days.
You prefer Vogue to any book.
You care to much about the latest look.
Even though you're a total slob,
And your nose is stuck to the ceiling, like a snob.
When a man looks at another women, under your breath you call them 'perves'.
There's something about that, that really gets on my nerves.
You don't believe me when I tell your Jordans a place.
You think Daz is a place from outer space.
You think that the film Titanic was a made up story.
It worries me that your have an invisable friend called Rory.