Words To Live By-Uncle Dan Poem by Lonnie Hicks

Don't think too much;
day-dream more,
that makes you
smarter, if you believe in it.
Einstein did.

Don't be too obsequiously humble
it implies you are great enough to need
to be.

Don't be too wise;
it upsets people
hold back a little
you seem smarter that way.

Don't try to look too good
people will see you only
as good for looking good.

Make one or two good
friends;
too many and you
will acquire enemies posing
as friends.

Don't think too much
about the Future
you'll stumble over Right Now
won't get to the Future at all.

Love your parents
even if they don't deserve it
because you have to have
some love
to give some love.

Remember is Karma is Karma
is Karma

Don't get all hung up
on bad and good
pretty soon you won't
have any friends.

Kiss and hug
all the children
all the time.

People are not a movie.
People are real
and they are not in your movie.


Don't watch television-
interrogate television

Open the blinds;
it'll prove you don't have
secret powers

You can't be cute
past 16.

Don't kiss in the dark
if you are not willing
to kiss in the light.

Wonder why and why
at all times.

Smile at someone
for no reason;
remember how
much it meant
when it happened to you?

Don't try to be sexy;
be sexy.

Get low with animals
and children;
get on the floor.

Let someone else
shine sometimes.

Be quiet sometimes,
You don't have to talk
just because you can.

Don't eat anything
bigger than your head.

Don't eat without chewing good.

Don't eat just to be nice.
.
Control what goes into your body
you are going to need it a long time.

Nobody is better than you
even if they think so;
and you are no better than
anyone else
even if you think so.

Want what you need;
it works out best that way
and need, too,
what you want.

Kiss slow
run fast
and play for keeps.

If someone
makes you laugh til you pee
marry 'um.

The rich are children;
they are really attached
to their lattes.

You can't go home
if you never come back.

You can get along with people
if you can be alone with people;
quietly.

Your life is going to be
engraved on the inside lid
of your casket.
Don't have it be blank.


You can get over yourself
if you get naked
face a full-length mirror
turn around,
bend over
and look through your legs.

If Jesus came back
he'd go to some churches
and take his money back
and the collection plate too.

If someone calls you a name
ask for details;
what kind of cow?
Do you mean Jersey,
Holstein?
'Oh you don't know you say?
Then you are not only mean
but dumb too;
and ugly.'

You are old if you
don't want to get out of bed
in the morning-and depressed too.
If you do then you are young
no matter what your age.

The perfect woman wears
a gingham dress.
The perfect man
wears only a smile.

Babies come naked
kids like to be naked
Grown ups have their most fun naked;
In the grave you will soon get naked.
There is something going on with naked.

When you come home
give a hug and a smile;
don't be a coward.

Kissing a pig
don't make bacon
and kissing rear-ends
don't make friends

Catch up;
I am so far behind you
I am ahead..

Wearing a watch
don't mean
you know what time it is.

If being smart made you happy
happy people would be smart
but they ain't
but they do know something
you don't.

I had an uncle Dan
who always said that a man
had to be taught
how to please a lady
by learning to say 'yes dear'
just like she means it.

I had an Auntie Sal
who always said that a woman
had to be taught how to please
a man
by learning to say 'yes dear'
just like he means it.


Remember
nothing happens
in life until somebody
falls in love
with something,
or somebody.

Every time someone says
'Now I am not bragging on my self'
expect some self-bragging is going to be happening soon.

You can win every argument
by calling your opponent a do-do head.

I walked past the plate glass window
on the street
and a demon had taken over my body-a plump one.

'Really, really smart people are always ugly.' he said
'It's a rule.'
'You must be very very smart.' she said.

She asked me where babies come from.
I told her LA; they also whine a lot there.

'He was beautiful' she said
but not as beautiful as Ben Franklin
on the 100 dollar bill.

'I used my rapier wit on him, ' he said 'but left out the wit.'

Always choose the happy meal at the restaurant and over-tip

Don't tell the truth if it will be used to murder someone else.

Be nice to people;
it don't cost nothing.

Growing up is about
more than just getting taller.

You can have anything you want in the world
if you are willing to let others have what they want too.

Always give credit to others more than yourself
even if this is not true.

The most important phrase in the world is
'I am not sure. Let's go find out.'

You can get any woman to fall in love with you
if you really love women. If you don't like women
the woman you end up with will return the favor

If you don't like men, see above.

Gossip is the refuge
of those who lack skills

Don't spend your life protecting
what didn't deserve protecting in the first place

It is hard to find a good woman
so get a hard woman to help you look

Women want a man who understands
what women want without having to be told.
A man wants a woman who gives him what
he wants without asking

You can't find your princess
without being a prince yourself

Act like a loving person
and soon you don't have to act no more

Being happy only comes to the happy being.
Happy being is the willingness to be without demands

Joy is a happy smile
Best be yours.

Updated October 19,2010

Scheme, plot, and calculate at all times
to tell the exact truth.

Hit a man when he is down
make an enemy for life

Never eat what you can't digest.

Animals are people too.

Money is the root of all evil;
jealousy is the tree upon which it grows.

Past 40, just stop looking in the mirror
you'll be happier

Big lips kiss better


Don't hold on to the illusion
that you can hold on to what you never had
to begin with.


'You never understood me, ' she said
'Huh? he said

'I don't like sex' she said
too many noises, too many smells and grunts
and the position is ridiculous.'
'Good thing' he said 'it only lasts a coupla minutes.'

When I was a young man I liked thin girls and after I went to sleep.
When I was an older man I liked thick girls because they provided the pillow.

Enjoy life, ' Uncle Dan said
'just not too much.'

Ask 'Were those gunshots? '
five blocks away.

Love starts when you stop being all hung up about love.

Peace is the ability to get along with others.

Cowardice is the inability to tolerate peace.

Always, always, be the first to reach out;
from there you have the choice to shake a hand
or slap a face.

Communism is the exploitation of man by man:
with Capitalism, it is just the other way around.

With Dictatorship the people get the leadership they don't deserve
With Democracy the people get the leadership they do deserve.

A Six-foot goose standing beside a man on a corner:
'Embarrassed to be seen talking to an imaginary goose huh? '


Dec 31,2010
The object is not to think things out
but to let thought in

Surrender is the first step toward empowering.

You can't kiss the sky
if you haven't kissed the ground

Flying is very similar to falling
and vice versa

Kiss the cheek
brush the lips
and you shall receive the kiss

In war the goal is to conquer
in love the goal is to surrender

Being right about everything is not enough
even if you are right about everything


Never start what you can't maintain

Women will love you if you love them first
and they think it was they who promoted it.

A man never disagrees with a woman
who tells him he is irresistibly attractive

All women think they are beautiful
inside or out-sometimes both.
Men need to learn to see that first.

Women need to hear a man's dreams
Men need to hear a woman's fantasies.

Women want to attach
Men want to be close enough to implant

Learn never to talk too much with your heart full
allow the silence to speak your sincerity.

Don't call home to borrow a quarter
to call home with

A confused man in the desert craves water
a wise man craves salt.

Silence is loudest when we stop talking to
allow the soul to speak.

Uncle Dan:
If you are not funny
you are not funny

Holidays are for taking a holiday
from the person you should not be
trying to be everyday.

If you see a parade going by
it means you are on the sidelines.