Dom Hunt

Rookie - 13 Points (17/04/1966 / geelong)

Wrongs I have done


Wrongs I have done
Made you less than whole
playing in my mind
Burn in my soul

Words that I said
That cut to the core
They echo through time
To hard too ignore

Looks that caused pain
Like I thought less of you 
Harsh judgement sometimes
Repentance to few


Made you feel less 
Like you were on trial
Made your whole  heart
Hurt for awhile

Finally it's mark it made
Bravely you walked away
From all that you loved
You were right not to stay

Now I need forgiveness
Just a simple word  from you
Could help me find a way
To begin life anew

Submitted: Friday, June 22, 2012
Edited: Monday, July 08, 2013

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  • Veteran Poet - 4,807 Points Bri Edwards (7/8/2013 8:37:00 PM)

    p.s. i read the first comment left below by Ramesh Rai. i don't know that you deserve forgiveness. do you?
    well, maybe forgiveness, but maybe NOT to be taken back by the one who walked away. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 4,807 Points Bri Edwards (7/8/2013 8:34:00 PM)

    not to make light of the poem, BUT i believe you have written two things ('wrongs) incorrectly.

    1-To hard to ignore.... try TOO hard to ignore

    AND: to explain what is wrong with:

    2- Finally it's mark it made...: i have made the same mistake so i checked just to make sure, and pasted what i found below:


    IT'S
    It's is a contraction for it is or it has.



    Examples:

    It's = It is

    It's my bedtime.

    It's time to go.

    It's only 11 o'clock.

    It's over there.

    It's = It has (not possessive)

    It's been a long time.

    It's been brewing awhile.

    It's got to happen soon.

    A Mnemonic Device:

    It's an apostrophe.




    ITS
    Its indicates possessive.

    Or, put a more technical way, its is the possessive form of the neuter pronoun it — his, her, its.

    Examples:

    Its possessive

    Every dog has its day.

    The jury has reached its decision.

    Stop its momentum!

    Guess its color.

    A Good Rule of Thumb:

    If you can replace it with his or her, there's no apostrophe.

    A Mnemonic Device:

    The possessive dog had its tail removed.


    ITS'

    Its' is never correct. Ever.

    NOW BACK TO a less corrective comment. well MAYBE one more correction; at least i think you may want to change: .....playing in my mind....to PLAY in my mind. what do you think?

    i think punctuation would have helped me follow the poem more easily. BUT, after all i've already said above, i am choosing to send this poem to my poemlist because i like it quite a lot. thanks for sharing. i've been guilty of some of the same offenses against women i have/do loved/love. three divorces later, i am with a fourth wife. i have learned a little bit, but not a lot, from my relationships. good luck to you (if this is a true story involving you. a reader never knows for sure!) . (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 11,156 Points Ramesh Rai (6/24/2012 11:00:00 PM)

    A true confession from inner core of soul. so u deserve forgiveness. If you are not getting it means it shall be injustice with you. A nice poem. (Report) Reply

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