Ali Sabry

Rookie - 76 Points (11/8/1988 / Iraq - Baghdad)

Yesterday I Was Walking Alone On The Road

Yesterday I was walking alone on the road
I was listening to the car noise
& between the car lights I was seeing your face
Your picture it's shadow in the dark
Your shadow don't need lights to be visible
Cause all of you is lights
You are my light of my way
By your eyes I can see
Without you I'm blind
Why you didn't call me whole these long months
Where are you now
Please let me hear your pure voice for once
I know that the fate is to stay far away from each other
What can we do this is it we must accept it
I'm alone
The walls of my room cried for my situation
The empty pillow beside me in my bed asking about you

Submitted: Thursday, October 04, 2012
Edited: Monday, October 29, 2012

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Yesterday I Was Walking Alone On The Road

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  • Rookie - 11 Points Alookh (matin) (9/18/2013 6:32:00 AM)

    What can we do this is it we must accept it
    I'm alone
    The walls of my room cried for my situation
    The empty pillow beside me in my bed asking about you

    a powerful and sad poem! i loved the 4 last lines! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 2 Points Derek Haughton (11/14/2012 11:27:00 AM)

    This is much the best of your new poems. Still too long and the first part could stand on its own; . lines one to nine then eleven 'where are you now, finishing on the last two lines would make this much better. A good effort. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 2 Points Isaac Yaw Osei (11/7/2012 6:23:00 AM)

    Really touching and I'm personally impressed BUT i find that people make less of an effort to see you since they believe that texting, e-mailing, chatting online, etc replaces more tangible forms of our human contact And that only makes some of us feel more lonely! I hope this will bring a lot of us home. Kudos Ali (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 2 Points Darlington Chukwunyere (10/31/2012 5:21:00 AM)

    Poetry requires a flow of sublime language and deep thoughts. On the other hand. It requires standard language style. You may choose the simple language or the big-words poetic diction... Which ever way, its your duty to speak to the worl in a transformed, but formal language... Mechanical and structural accuracy inclusive. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 10 Points Ravi A (10/29/2012 11:47:00 AM)

    My humble request is that you may pay more attention to English Grammar. lonely - replace it with 'alone'. Singular-plural: you are not conversant with them. See, I can only say this much: - Read great poets before you may take your pen. You have ideas but to be what shall be called a poem - it requires something extra. I can't teach you what this extra is but your experience alone can tell this. More often I see that people have less experience reading great poetry. Today there are umpteen websites where postings are also easy. In olden days any kind of publishing was never easy. I hope you are getting my point. Even after being in the field of poetry and literature for over three decades, I must say that I still need more perfection. This is an ongoing process but we must be serious about it. Wishing best of luck. | (Report) Reply

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